There must be something wrong with me. Either I’m seriously sick in the head or there’s something jacked up in my DNA that makes me different from every other writer on the planet. I suspect it’s a bit of both.

I’m currently soliciting blurbs for Eighth Grade Bites, and let me tell you, I’m totally enjoying it. How sick is that?? For years, I’ve been hearing how awful it is and how difficult, always followed by the writer’s war story of collecting blurbs. So, rightfully, I was a bit freaked out about the idea of asking complete strangers (and amazing writers) to read my little book and, if they like it, maybe say something kinda nice that I can quote them on.

But apparently, I have a knack for it.

So far, (Not naming names here on the blog, minions) of the five (amazing, incredible, talented, oh-my-goddess-is-this-person-REALLY-going-to-blurb-me???) people I’ve heard back from, four have agreed to take a look. One said no, but gave me some wonderful advice on how to reach kids with my books (making that “no” a positive experience). I honestly thought that no one would be interested. I mean, I’m just me–boring, pale, writes-in-her-jammies me. What could they possibly see in me?

The answer, I think, is Vlad.

When I write to someone to ask for a blurb, I always include the description of EGB from my website…and I think it’s working. At least, I like to think it’s working. Maybe I’m just deluding myself, but I’m pretty proud of what I’ve managed so far. I also only approach people who I sincerely admire. I mean, hey, I’m not just going to go begging for blurbs all willy-nilly. (Well, I might have if no one responded after a while…)

Now, as long as I can avoid the blurbs I dreamt about last night (yeah, I dreamt about blurbs…how big of a geek am I?) I’ll be fine. “This book makes an excellent doorstop!”, “My table no longer wobbles–thanks!”, “Eighth Grade may bite, but this book SUCKS!”

And now, minions, I’m off to pay homage to the blurb gods.

They take checks, right?

So last night I was working on Wonderland (read: I was staring blankly at the open file for an hour or so), when curiosity got the better of me and I decided, just for fun, to poke around Eighth Grade Bites and see if I still liked it. (Mostly because the moodswings we writers go through pretty much guarantee that I wouldn’t)

And I did! It was more than like. I got so wrapped up in reading “just a paragraph or two” that, before I knew it, I’d read three chapters. I. Loved. It.

So pardon me while I stroke my own feathers…or fur…how does that saying go again? I’m totally in love with Vlad and miss writing him very much.

Dillon is coming around. I abandoned him in an asylum for a while and, wouldn’t you know it, his attitude has changed. I think I might like him now, which is a good thing. Oh sure, he lacks the dark humor and sarcasm that Vlad loves…but all in all, he’s not a bad guy.

This might just work after all.

But considering the main character of my series is a vampire, I guess it’s fitting, eh?

Lately, I’ve been reading everything I can find from anyone in the publishing industry concerning the best way for a new author to promote his or herself. The common thread has been three things. 1) a fabulous website, 2) a good web presence, and 3) getting to know your local booksellers and librarians.

Let’s begin at the end and end at the beginning, shall we, minions?

#3 is going to be the most difficult for me, as I’m still pretty new to this city (and state) and, at last count, I believe there are more than 50 independent bookstores in St. Louis, as well as the usual chains (Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Borders, etc.). I’m hoping to map out the stores and hit every single one. (And maybe I could stick a giant map of St. Louis on my wall and use little red pins for every store, replacing each with a black pin once I visit…you know…kinda like those old war movies. No? Yeah, I’m not digging the idea either.) It’ll take time and effort, but luckily, I have those things in abundance. And libraries? Hoo boy…there are a lot, but it’ll be a joy to visit them all and get to know some great people.

The huge plus here is that I love bookstores and libraries, so this part ought to be a ton of fun.

#2 isn’t going to be that difficult. I post on many different forums and have friends and acquaintances around the world that will be happy to spread the word about (and hopefully buy) my book. Sure, my presence has shrunk while I’ve been hard at work with my writing, but that’s easily rectified.

#1 is probably the easiest item on the list. And I’ve already got it covered. Recently, I hired a fabulous web designer to revamp (heh) my site. Shelley Kay of Webcrafter Designs is talented, incredibly nice, and I’m sure she’ll be a joy to work with. So, come early June, I should be announcing my brand spankin’ new website, in all its vampy glory. And it won’t suck. Or…it will, but in that good slurp-up-the-blood kinda way.

This isn’t all I’ll do to promote Eighth Grade Bites, of course. There will be school visits, contests, and a zillion other little things. But for now…it’s a start.

Dear Heather,

1) The next time you’re rummaging through a bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, please remember that the pretty, speckled bean tastes like vomit. You’d think after eating three in this manner, you’d remember that.

2) After you’ve written an entry for your blog, don’t close the window before posting it. That little X up in the corner there? Yeah, don’t succumb to clicking it, no matter how much of a shiny object appeal it has.

3) Your printer is stupid. Together, you’re a dangerous pair. Don’t turn off your computer in the midst of printing something or you’ll just have to turn it back on and reprint it. But I’ll give you credit…at least you’re remembering to turn the printer on in the first place these days, as opposed to grumbling at the printer for being a piece of crap, only to realize you never hit the power button.

4) Dillon is not Vlad. He never will be. Get over it and keep writing. Eventually, you’ll love him too.

and finally,

5) That scene you wrote last night about Alice in the asylum? Fantastic. Keep up the good work.

Uh-oh, minions. I have a problem. A problem that I can sum up in three little words.

I hate Dillon.

Dillon, as I may have mentioned, is the main protagonist in The View from the Wonderland Asylum. And I. Hate. Him.

It’s not that he’s a bad guy. He’s nice and all. But he’s not exactly special (not like Vlad is) and plus, he’s got that poor-little-rich-kid thing going on. It’s obnoxious. Seriously.

To rid myself of my ever-growing dislike for the boy I plan to spend much time with soon, I grabbed him and threw him headfirst into Wonderland. Hopefully, watching him deal with some of the horrid situations he’s about to find himself in will give me a spark of respect for Dillon…and with any luck, that spark will turn into the flame of friendship. (Yeesh…can you believe I just said that? Now I feel nauseous.)

As someone dear to me mentioned this morning–maybe it’s not who Dillon is that makes him special, but how he deals with the crap that’s thrown at him. I hope so. Because writing about a character you don’t really care about isn’t much fun.

Plus, I’m totally cheating on Vlad…

I’m becoming quite the lazy blogger. I used to blog, what, once or twice a day? Now I’m lucky if I blog at all on the weekends, and blogging during the week is sporadic. The good news is that I have things (ie a budding new publishing career) to keep me busy and away from you, my minions. The bad news is that my brain is FRIED.

I think I need a vacation.

And not one of my mini-stareoffintospacewhilesittingatmydesk-vacations. I think I need a justrelaxandmaybegoseeamovie vacation. Nothing big…that is, nothing that involves travel by airplane. But some “me” time. Yep.

Last night I pounded out about 500 words on Wonderland. Not bad. (Not great, but not bad) Hopefully today I’ll get a nice chunk in, so I can spend my weekend relaxing and pretty much forgetting all that is not Heather. (Realistically, I’ll be back here tomorrow, staring at my screen and waiting for the muse to grunt in my direction)

I’m not a patient person.

Well, strike that. I can be a patient person when I need to. You know, like when I’m waiting on anything publishing-related (okay…I pretty much fake this, but I like to appear patient, because it’s professional to seem so). But when it comes to waiting in a doctor’s office, waiting in a long line at the grocery store, or standing behind someone at the bank who insists on depositing $380 in one dollar bills (you know who you are)…I’m less than patient.

The worst of my impatience is directed at myself. See, whenever I’m working on a new project, I want to go, go, go, get it finished, get it done, so that I can bask in the happy afterglow of a newly created story. But when it doesn’t come fast and easy, when I can’t seem to reach that unreasonable daydream of 40,000 in two days (heh), I get crabby. And I start the woe-is-me routine that I’m sure every writer is familiar with.

I start to doubt my work, and that’s a ridiculous thing to do. Just because I can’t finish another book super fast and make with the happy doesn’t mean I’m a crappy writer. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be able to write another book that anyone will like. It doesn’t mean my entire career ends with Vlad. It means that I need to take a break, drink some peach tea, and forget about everything that’s going on in my life, so that I can focus on Dillon and what he’s trying to tell me.

It’s funny, though. I feel such a loyalty to Vlad that it’s difficult for me to open up to Dillon. He’s a great guy, sure, but he’s not Vlad…and I need to stop moping that he isn’t.

Vlad’s sitting on a moonlit beach, sipping a virgin (and quite literally) Bloody Mary, enjoying his short break and wishing me the best.

I just have to give Dillon a chance.

(It just occurred to me how completely insane I sound when I talk about my characters…huh.)

I love Vlad.

Oh, with all my heart, I do. But he’s being insufferable and I think part of the reason is that we’re spending too much time together.

The final revisions for Eighth Grade Bites are due to my editor by May 15th. Which tells me that it is likely (and somewhat common sense-ish) that Ninth Grade Sucks won’t be due until sometime next year. In short, Vlad has time for a vacation.

Well, a short vacation, until I drag him over to the computer and beg him to help me with EGB’s revisions. (Which will likely begin in a week or two.)

So, due to the brilliant glow of the Lightbulb of Inspiration, I’m returning to an idea I had some time ago. The story of a boy named Dillon and how he stumbled into a little place called Wonderland, many years after Alice. It’s dark. It’s scary. It’s an addictive notion. And I’m aching to get started. I’m calling it The View from the Wonderland Asylum.

Perception is a funny thing. How we see the world may greatly vary from how others see it. The same goes for writing.

A friend of mine recently gushed about The Historian, referring to it as “one of the greatest vampire novels ever written”. “Now, tut tut, my dear,” I said. “Greatest? Maybe longest…but not greatest by a looooooooooooong shot.” She proceeded to use one of those you-are-in-dire-need-of-a-straight-jacket-if-you-don’t-agree-with-me tones. “Excuse me,” she remarked. “But just because you can’t understand the complexities of it doesn’t mean it’s not brilliant.” Granted. But, I tell you now what I told her: I understand the so-called complexities. I still didn’t care for it and wouldn’t be assumptive enough to refer to it as “one of the greatest vampire novels ever written”. It may well be brilliant…to someone else. And heck, I’m first to admit that Ms. Kostova has an incredible gift for description. But…c’mon…greatest of all time? Somewhere, Bram Stoker is rolling over in his grave, I’m sure.

But then it occurred to me that, to her, The Historian is perfection. It’s everything a vampire story should ever be. To me it’s lacking, but who am I to stand in her way of loving what she loves? Just as I am certain that there are people who will love my books, I’m equally as certain that there are people who won’t give a fig about them. It happens. I’m cool with that.

But it got me thinking about perception. And then, later, after a few friends directed me to some enormously hysterical twists on old movies, I realized that our perception of things can be easily altered. While watching the tongue-in-cheek spot for Sleepless in Seattle as a horror flick, I thought, wow…what a shame it wasn’t a horror. At the same time, though I laughed at The Shining as a romance, I never would have seen it.

Anyway, the whole point of this blog entry is…

…huh…

I guess there is no point.

At least, that’s my perception of it.

I’ve finally reached that happy point of no return, that line in the sand, that cracked, spooky sign which reads HAUNTED FOREST WITCHES CASTLE 1 MILE I’D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU!

I’ve completed the first half of Ninth Grade Sucks. *waits until applause dies down…or are those crickets?* The book is coming along much smoother than Eighth Grade Bites did. I don’t think my second draft will be quite as daunting this time around. I set myself a goal that I’d complete the first draft by March 1st–a very feasible goal. Then, after setting it aside for a week or two, I’ll dive back into revisions. After I finish (my readers will be happy to hear…I hope), it’s off to my readers, and then one more draft before I send it on to my fabulous agent. I’m thinking I could realistically have this sucker (heh…) polished and in front of my agent before my revisions are due for Eighth Grade Bites (May 15th of this year), which I know I can have done in practically no time (in fact, I’m itching to get going on them already). But…I’m not pushing it. Eighth Grade Bites is about to become my top priority and if Ninth Grade Sucks takes a bit longer than I’d like, I’m fine with that.

But Vlad is working over time. Last night I had a dream about the third book, which I’m toying with calling Tenth Grade Kills. Just like that, I was in the river again and the entire thing rushed over me. After some rough notes this morning, I’m anxious to begin.

Patience, Heather. Patience. Let’s work on getting this first book out the door before you dive into the rest of the series fangs-first.