“When you’re in black slacks with accentuating, off-white pinstripes-whoa-everything goes according to plan.”
~There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet, Panic! at the Disco

My Critique Partner never fails to amaze me. She read Ninth Grade Sucks in a day (is that a good sign? I’m hoping it is, thinking it is, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet) and got back to me with some incredible feedback–all of it so dead-on and exactly what Vlad needs. Brilliant, I’m telling you. If I get nothing else out of my writing career, at least I get the pleasure of meeting some really wonderful people. And for that, I’m truly grateful.

So I’m working in her suggestions right now and paying careful attention to the questions she asked. My all-important readers should be reading NGS over the weekend–I hope they enjoy it. And my fabulous agent is on vacation for a week (Yay, Michael!), so when he gets back I’ll be sending him the newly-revised-and-looking-fantastic manuscript.

Meanwhile, more requests for Minion Bling have come in (if you want some–yes, you–just email me). I’m beginning to think I might have a handle on what all you minions like. The next group of buttons will have a variety of sayings on them, such as: Eighth Grade Bites, Vampires Suck, Drudge, and Creature of the Night. The last two phrases will be better appreciated once you’ve read the book.

And you will. And you’ll love it.

(I hope, anyway)

I’m done. (But please, keep it away from Vlad–he has a phobia, ya know) Well, kinda done. I’m done revising Ninth Grade Sucks well enough to send it on to my brilliant Critique Partner and amazing readers, anyway. Then, after some tweaks, I’m sending it on to my fabulous agent…along with the revised outline for Beyond the Looking Glass (yeah, the Wonderland book). I’ve been a productive lil Minion Overlord this week!

Plus, my incredible editor informs me that there may be (cross your fingers, minions!) some really wonderful news coming our way soon. It involves the cover for Eighth Grade Bites, a genius designer, and the possibility of having the most perfect photographer EVER involved. But…I can’t say any more until we know for sure. After all, I wouldn’t want to jinx it. (But suffice it to say that if you look like Vlad–pale, skinny, black hair, dark eyes–and live in the Bay area, you need to get out this weekend and make yourself visible)

As for Auntie Heather…well, it’s time she got back to work. But after I turn Ninth Grade Sucks and the Wonderland outline in to my agent, I’m going to take a brain-refresher and not write for a few weeks. Does the muse good, you know? Gives him time to fluff up his tutu.

It seems my ink has bled all the way over to another site, as I received an email from a minion (Hi, Helena!) letting me know that she posted a lovely, four-star review of my blog here. Thank you so much, loyal minion! I’d have thanked you by email as well, but GoDaddy is being a bloodsucking fiend today (and not in the good way)–but if you’d like, I’d love to send you some Minion Bling. Drop me an email with your mailing address (I can still receive mail, for some odd reason).

Happily, I’m on chapter sixteen (titled “The Afterlife”) of Ninth Grade Sucks, with one more chapter to revise after this. SQUEE! But I may be spending too much time with Vlad. Last night I dreamt I got stopped by airport security for having a wooden stake in my carry-on luggage (which is shaped like a coffin, of course…no, really). Weird.

Okay, back to work with me! The undead won’t write about themselves, you know…

EDIT: Okay, so I’m a big tech idiot and forgot to empty my trash bin. Email is working fine now. Duh, me.

Taking time out of my revisions to SQUEE! with my minions. My wonderful editor loved the changes I made to Eighth Grade Bites! Of course, I couldn’t have made them without her guidance. And it amazes me that you never really realize how incredible editors are until you have one. She asks all the right questions and that, as it were, is exactly how I work best. Ask me questions and set me free, so I can work it out. We’re a good match.

Okay, enough editor gloating (for now….and have I mentioned how great my agent is? Well, he is!). Last night, I watched the most amazing movie. It was funny, sweet, sad, disgusting, and wonderful. You MUST watch it. It’s called Zombie Honeymoon. And no, you have no idea until you see it. But just trust me on this. It was awesome. (I actually sniffled a bit, something I’ve only ever done over one other zombie film–28 Days Later) Yeah, I’m a freak. I know.

And on the promotional front, I’ve given away over 300 Minion buttons now (if you want one or some or more, just email), garnered two interviews (that I’m holding out for until we get closer to publication), had several people say they’d love to review EGB, and have comprised a list of YA book reviewers that I hope to assault… *tsk, tsk* bless with ARCs when they come out. In short, we’re moving right along, my loyal minions.

Full fangs ahead!

Do you see what I see?

Yep. Auntie Heather has been screwing with her blog again. But this time, I think it turned out okay. Plus, it’s now better coordinated with my MySpace page. Granted…they aren’t perfectly matched, but nothing is perfect.

Except maybe Diet Pepsi.

My wonderful editor gave me the list of changes she still wants for Eighth Grade Bites, so I’m working on those today, while marvelling at how few there really are. You see, minions, being a published (or soon-to-be-published, as it were) author is half “I am a GENIUS!” and half “I’m an idiot that doesn’t deserve to live!”, so when important people like agents and editors act like you have any friggin’ clue what you’re doing…it’s a big boost to the self-esteem.

I’m going to work enormously hard at these revisions, and then, both before and after EGB is released, I’m going to work my butt off promoting it–because if the book fails, I don’t want to look back and wonder what more I could have done. (Ideally, I want it to be a sweeping success that takes the children’s publishing world by storm. But hey, I’m trying to stay realistic here.) I’m not a big fan of regret. I want to be able to say, “Well, at least I know it wasn’t because of anything I did or didn’t do.”

I don’t have lofty goals like becoming a NYT bestseller or a big award winner. (Though, those would be nice…incredibly nice.) I just want to reach kids. Entertain them. Show them that they’re more than what they might realize.

But right now, I want another Diet Pepsi….and some music to write by.

I love fact-checking. And I love history. In fact, if you took the time to comb through my books, you’d find a lot of little historically reported tidbits that tie in with the world that I’ve created.

I’m quirky that way.

I also hate spreading misinformation. So yesterday I was racking my brain, trying to recall how long stored blood will remain unspoiled (you know, fit for human transfusion or vampire consumption–just another day in the Brewer household), but I was drawing a blank. I didn’t have it written down anywhere and Google wasn’t helping, so I called Paul (who’d given me this tasty morsel of information a few months ago after he donated blood–yay, Red Cross!) to see if he could remember. Nope.

But in a stroke of good luck, Paul was at the doctor’s. So I begged and pleaded with him to please please PLEASE ask the doctor how long it takes for blood to go bad.

But he forgot. (so he says…I think he was just worried about the “you psycho” looks the doc might have given him)

Then, in the middle of the night, I woke up and remembered. 45 days. Human blood can be stored for up to 45 days before it’s useless.

Rock on, Red Cross. You rule.

The thing about the undead is that they’re incredibly stubborn. You don’t hear that much, but I’m telling you, Vlad couldn’t get more stubborn if I were trying to drag him out into the noon sun without any SPF on his sensitive skin. But at least he knows what he wants. He wants his story told…and told right.

Yesterday I backtracked some to correct errors I’d had in the fifth and sixth chapters of Ninth Grade Sucks. It was totally worth a detour and Vlad seemed satisfied when I stopped for the night. We’ll see what happens today. You know, after I get some caffeine and he gets some O Positive.

Man, we are such night people.

Okay, back to work. You minions go do something productive. I mean, you can’t very well hang around here all day, pining for my return, can you?

Wait a minute, can you? ‘Cuz that would be super.

First off, I owe huge thanks to The Genius (Hi, Jen!) for setting me up with happy linkage and for asking to interview me (coming soon, minions–be patient!). We need more sites like hers to keep teens in-the-know about what fabulous books there are out there. Reading=good.

Next, I’m so sorry that my entries have been short, few and far between recently. But all my creative brain juice is being squeezed out by Vlad (uh…ew) and used for revising Ninth Grade Sucks. It hasn’t been a picnic, exactly, but I think it’s going all right. However, I feel like something–some intangible thing–is missing from the story, and I can’t seem to grasp just what. So I’ll putter along and hopefully, if I don’t see it by the time I hand it over to my amazing critique partner on July 2nd, she will. If not…maybe my fabulous agent will…or my incredible editor…or maybe it’s nothing. I may just be worrying too much.

Something that struck me last night as I worked my way through chapter six was that Vlad has changed between the first book and the second. Not a lot. He’s still Vlad…but he’s also a bit stronger after what he went through in the eighth grade. Makes me wonder what he’ll be like his senior year (actually, I already know, but -tee hee- I’m not telling). Sometimes, it’s hard to think that all of this could end–that Vlad’s story may never be completely told. It’s all up to you, my minions. It’s all up to the uncomfortable subject of book sales.

So, the moment Eighth Grade Bites is on Amazon…let’s see how high we can drive those preorder numbers, shall we? *grin*

I promise. It’s worth it.

You won’t see this book coming.

Yay! I sold a short story! Actually, I kind of spaced that I ever submitted it…but today I got a contract, so woohoo! The story is called Cheating and, well, this one’s not for the kiddies, so keep that in mind when reading (though it does contain a healthy does of blood). Thanks, Byzarium, for giving this one a chance.

And thanks to you, my minions, for sticking with me during revisions.

Okay, so I finally broke down and bought these spiffy new business cards. Check it out: Pretty cool, huh? (Click on it to get a better view) And yes, that’s my ISBN number (yay!) and yes, that’s my public contact info. But my favorite part, next to the cool book stuff (of course), has to be the bat. He rawks! I’m tempted to name him, but shall resist for now.

EDIT: By decree of her royal Jackieness, the bat will henceforth be called Igor.

Okay, back to work for me! Ninth Grade Sucks won’t write itself, you know…