Okay, my Minions, you’re on your own for a few days while I run off to the Backspace Writers Conference in New York. I’m on a panel on the 31st, discussing YA (and why it’s such a kick-butt genre) along with author Barb Ferrer and our fabulous agents, Michael Bourret and Caren Johnson. Author Lynn Sinclair is moderating. It should be a blast! (If I manage not to puke…)

So right now I’m busy running around like crazy, trying to make sure I’m packed and ready, when all I really want to do is start a new Final Fantasy X game and forget about the entire thing. Ugh. Social anxiety. Not fun. (But the conference will be!)

I’ve been rereading EIGHTH GRADE BITES lately, both to remind myself just what it was that I wrote (you’d be amazed how easy that is to forget), and to prepare for any questions people might have. Something that’s really struck me is how much my writing quality has changed in this short time. The first Vlad Tod book isn’t even on the shelf, and I’m already doing better than I’d done with that book. It’s weird. But it got me thinking about what it was that got me agented, got me published.

For one, I didn’t give up, didn’t lose hope. (I’m a paradox: an optimistic, perky goth–cripes, if it weren’t for my death obsession and love of all clothes black, not to mention the other things, they might take away my goth card.) And for two, I studied. Many people will tell you “to write better, you need to read, read, read”, but they don’t tell you HOW to read. You need to pick apart your favorite books, favorite passages, ask yourself questions. If a scene is funny/suspenseful/tear-coaxing, ask yourself why it is that way…find the answer, and then carry what you’ve learned over to your own writing. That’s what I did. I studied, I learned, and I made it my own. And now…now I know how to write books that might actually end up on a shelf. (Note I said “might”…)

So, study. That’s the key. And be original.

And send me pressies (hey, can’t hurt).

See you all after the conference!

Minions, you love vampire books, right? Particularly YA vampire books? Then you need to do what you can to save a really fun series by super cool author Mari Mancusi. Her BOYS THAT BITE, STAKE THAT, and GIRLS THAT GROWL series, featuring twin sisters Sunshine and Rayne, is in danger of having the publishing rug pulled out from under it, which (pardon the pun) sucks.

So right now I’m asking each of you Minions to go buy at least one copy of STAKE THAT. And if you can’t buy a copy, please spread the word. Because fun vampire books are something the world needs more of…don’t you think?

Okay, so I’m sitting here with tears quite literally streaming down my face, laughing my patootie off over these old Weight Watchers recipe cards. My particular favorite? They call this “onion sauce” but it looks more like the end of a snuff film to me. Yep. Fish snuff. Die, fish, die.

Wow. I need a life.

I could try to redeem this post by telling you that I’m in the planning stages of my big launch party or that I’m gearing up for another big contest soon…but I won’t. Because it would just detract from the hilarity of fish snuff.

1. Decide to write book.
2. Come up with AMAZING idea for book.
3. Write book.
4. Edit book (repeat until eyes bleed).
5. Decide book sucks.
6. Burn book to a crisp (dancing gleefully around the flames is optional).
7. Get smacked by the Muse with an even better idea.
8. Write book.
9. Edit book (repeat until eyes…and fingers…bleed).
10. Write killer query letter.
11. Edit query letter until you’re faint…and losing your mind.
12. Research literary agents (I recommend an incredible site called AgentQuery.com).
13. Connect with fabulous agent after many, many, many, many, many, MANY rejections.
14. Live happily ever after.

And…did I mention that Agent Query is bragging up Vlad on their front page? With good reason, Minions. If not for them, I might not have Michael. Give ‘em a try!