So you’ve made the decision to try your hand at getting published! Please, allow me to offer you simultaneous congratulations and sympathies. This is not an easy business to enter, but it is, at times, immeasurably fun. If you’re reading this, odds are you’ve already cleared an enormous hurdle by making the decision to learn more about how publishing works. I’ll see if I can answer some of the more common questions I’m asked here. I hope it helps!
How much does it cost to get my book published?
Whoa! Slow down there, chief. First off, it costs you nothing to be published by commercial publishers: the non-vanity, non-subsidy, non-self-publishing publishers (more on these here, thanks to SFWA). In fact, you should be getting at least a little money in your pocket from this experience. But you’re getting way ahead of yourself here. First off, once your work is polished to the extreme, you need to find representation. You need a literary agent.
What’s a literary agent?
A literary agent is someone who represents you and your work, who acts as a go-between and uses their business connections to get your manuscript in front of the right editors. Once an editor is interested in making an offer, your agent negotiates on your behalf. Your agent will also vet contracts, get your check to you, handle disputes, and give you insight to potential problems with your writing. They are your personal champion in the publishing world.
Okay, so how do I get one?
First off, you research. Find out who represents authors that you admire, who has made recent sales in your genre. Be sure to check out Agent Query, Writer’s Market, Jeff Herman’s Guide, and Publisher’s Marketplace. You can also seek out advice on writers forums, but there is a lot of misinformation out there, so I recommend you check out Backspace.
Once you have a list of reputable agents (remember: reputable agents charge no fees. For more info on how to spot a scam agent, check out Writer Beware’s list of abusive practices by these…for lack of a better word…people.), you’ll need to write a query letter to send to the agents on your list.
What’s a query letter?
A query letter is a letter of introduction that a writer sends to a literary agent in order to introduce themselves and the book that they’re interested in garnering representation for. You should spend as much time on this as you do on your actual manuscript, because this letter is your foot in the door, and if you screw it up, you might not get an agent’s attention (however, please note that pink paper or that swirly-girly font you’ve been eyeing will only get you the wrong kind of attention). You can always Google for examples of successful query letters, but I’ll post mine here for inspiration. A query letter should be professional, intriguing, and descriptive without being over the top. Here’s mine:
Dear Mr. Agentman,
If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic.
Junior high school really sucks for fourteen-year-old Vladimir Tod, and not in the good slurp-up-the-blood kind of way. A gang of bullies harasses him daily, the principal is dogging his every move, and the girl he really likes prefers his best friend. Oh, and Vlad has to hide the fact that he’s a vampire.
When the one teacher he really connects with mysteriously vanishes, Vlad is determined to find him. But then Vlad finds an unsettling note scribbled across his essay: “I know your secret.”
Vlad must locate his missing teacher, dodge the principal, resist the bullies’ tempting invitations to Bite me!, and get a date for the dance–all before he is exposed for the teen vampire he is.
EIGHTH GRADE BITES is complete at around 39,000 words. It is the first book of a series, THE CHRONICLES OF VLADIMIR TOD. My short fiction appears in Darkmoon Rising, Descending Darkness and is scheduled to appear in two separate issues of Morbid Outlook. I’m also a contributing member of Backspace writers’ organization.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind Regards,
Heather Brewer
Looking at it now, it most definitely has room for improvement, but of the eleven agents I queried with it, nine responded with requests to read (six fulls, three partials), and one wanted an exclusive, so it couldn’t have been that bad (and yeah, the book is now much longer…and Vlad is now thirteen…but you get the point, right?).
Will you write my query letter for me?
Nice try. No.
Okay, so is there any more advice you can give me about query letters?
Absolutely! Use crisp white paper, a new printer cartridge, Times New Roman 12pt font, and always include a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) for their reply (as well as your phone number and email address). And be PATIENT! Sometimes it takes three months or more to hear back. Agents are very busy people.
Also, develop a thick skin. You will get rejected–we all do. And whatever you do, don’t fire of a “you’ll be sorry” email. It’ll only hurt you in the end. Remember, professionalism is the key to success.
What happens if an agent requests pages or offers me representation?
You send the pages UNSTAPLED (rubber band is okay) and you send them out right away (but don’t bother to FedEx overnight unless asked, it makes you look like an amateur), along with a polite cover letter reminding them of who you are and what you’re sending. If you get an offer, sit tight, ask questions about how the agent plans to grow your career, what their commission rate is, and take a few days to really think about it before signing on the dotted line. When you feel a hundred percent right in your choice, go for it! (and don’t forget to contact the other agents you’ve queried to let them know you’re already taken)
Is that all I need to know?
Nope, but it’s a good start. In a few weeks, I’ll write a What Happens After I Get an Agent? blog entry. I hope this helped!
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OMG!!!I just had the craziest dream last night. You know im going to take Luna’s advice and try to right a book about it. It was so cool though. Dreams are so awesome.
Well, I had a dream about wizard(cuz I play wizard 101 and read harry potter)I going to write it it’s about Myha and how she is a life(good)wizard but cursed to be a death(bad)wizard.When she’s there she learns about Cartinie and Alexia the leaders of death wizards.But no one knows what they look like so eveyone thinks its the new head mistresses Cyndah and Myndah Halken.And one mistake Myha made makes everyone now thinks Myha,Mahaudinie,and Luna are the evil!
So what do you all think of it?
Awesome information about getting a literary agent. I ended up getting a contract with a publishing company with out one but I went in with my first book co-authoring with a already published author.
@Mindy sounds cool I’d read it
sounds difficult
So far–
“C’mon! Lemmie show you something!” I called to the other kids. I trotted up to he rose bushes that had wilted.
Okay, can everyone see? I’m not gonna do this twice!” the group muttered their yeses, so I turned to the roses.
I reached out and grazed the wrinkled petals, and I thought of babies, their tiny round heads and of their little pink fingers.
At the places I touched it, the dead roses turned into the deepest black I’d ever seen, then, one by one in order of the roses I touched they fell like skyscrapers, toppleing and exploding into inky dust. In their wake were pebble-like seeds.
Actually that’s not all but that’s all I’m giving you, at this part Iris (the main charactor) is 4, and the book will be called the Rebirthers or somthing else I’m gonna leave my address here and you can send me a different name. Basiclly, Iris lives at a christian orphanage and runs away because everyone thinks she’s a devil, she goes through allot of obsticals just to live and finds some very different people… But are they so different from her?
kionapics@yahoo.com
干彐 (//\\//\)
Oh yea and ILY Auntie!!!!!!!! «~|Kyo|~»
(kyo is just a nickname)
Wow, this really helped me a lot! I am somewhat ambitious, but not TOO much. Thanks a lot, Auntie Heather, for this information, and for your awesome books!
-Your Minion/Vlad Fan
Oh right, the sentence, “I am somewhat ambitious, but not TOO much.” doesn’t fit into that comment I previously posted. xD
I was gonna say something about wanting to publish my manga and a book(See? I can dream, right? 8D). Ehe, so yeah. This comment was an awkward continuation of my previous one. Once again…
-Your “Weirdy” Minion/Vlad Fan FOREVER Period.
I am trying to find an agent and have my first query letter completed. Can I have some feed back from anyone on my hook?
When Cali Reynolds a willful yet naive seventeen year old moves to the family ranch, a place she never knew existed, learns her locket is more than just a family heirloom, she is thrown into an enchanted world of secrets and curses, as reality and dreams collide she must face her one fear, the dark.
Thank you so much for this I’ve been writing ever since I could pick up a pencil and its been my dream to publish a book one day
@Debra: grammar, grammar, grammar. & less clunky.
When Cali Reynolds, a willful yet naive seventeen year old moves to the family ranch, a place she never knew existed, (why?) she learns her locket is more than just a family heirloom, and, thrown into an enchanted world of secrets and curses (cliche phrase) where reality and dreams collide (more cliche), she must face her one fear: the dark (That’s it? Why isn’t she scared of all the things she’ll see without the naivette she’s sure to lose?).
I’ve been wanting to write this for a long time, but I don’t know if it’s any good or not, any feedback is appreciated.
Thirteen year old Ray Ackley is just your typical outcast, he has no friends and bullies harass him daily. To kids at school he’s known as Vampire Boy, which is a well earned title because of his obsession with the bloodsucking creatures of the night. But when Sam Graystone moves into town, with her deadly secrets and dark past, Ray is thrown into a world of night, blood, and a war between two divided fractions of vampires. If he’s to survive with his newfound knowledge, he must join his new best friend Sam as a creature of the night or risk being hunted down by Diavol, the vengeful vampire who is out for blood.
Woah! that just makes me rethink about things!! I was hoping to publish my book Captive, but I don’t know now… Oh I’m a great artist and so is my friend Brandon Dyer *your friend on twitter* and I was wandering if we *I use this term loosely* could make your Vladimir Todd series into a manga *it’s a book filled with pictures and words for those who can’t Imagine things* If you’d like to be able to see our work, just ask!
:3
April Russell
Brandon Dyer
I’m worried…yea a little too shy for my tastes…but this has helped me a lot in answering my questions. THANK YOU AUNTIE HEATHER!!! Here’s a preview of my book called Valkeria Chronicles; Reborn…
I loved walking around at night, it always calmed me down after a stressful day. Even if the air was hot and sticky, like it was going to rain, I’d walk around at night…especially in black jeans, converse and a black long sleeve shirt. Some people around me thought I was insane because I wore these kinds of things all year long instead of just winder, but I never really paid attention to what they said. Right now, all I really cared about was me and my Ipod touch that held my vast collection of Hard Rock, Death Metal, Punk Rock, Grunge, New Rock, some Classic Rock and very little Rap; too much for me to list or even remember until I listened to them.
At the moment I had my long dark brown hair tied up in a quick ponytail and no real destination in my evening walk so I just let my feet carry me while the music blasted in my ears as I walked the country/city roads. I lived somewhat in the country but we were so close to the city it was only a thirty minute walk. My mom doesn’t like me walking the streets so late at night cause that’s when all the gangs and drug dealers come out to play, along with all of the other night crawlers like me. She just doesn’t know that I also have a small marijuana factory in the basement underneath the concrete floor…I found it when I was in the basement and accidentally locked myself in the closet. The door is so well hidden on the back wall she wouldn’t even notice that the back wall was a door. My plants are in the early stages of maturing so I wasn’t ready to harvest any just yet let alone try any…I even had the audacity to grow two tobacco plants, saves money on cigarettes.
I’m working on a book called “That Ugly Hot Girl”
“Alyssa let me see!”cried my sister Sirenna.”No,It’s mine and who’s starting collage?”
“Alyssa.”
“And who brushes your hair EVERY morning?”
“Alyssa.”
“And who,cleans up your bed after you p-”
“Alyssa,gee sis don’t tell the world,”Sirenna said.After her little fight after my make-up,I was working on packing for Cerinaty Hights.
Sirenna wants to go but she never will.I mean she never will.It cost ten million dollars,and even I’m lucky I got in.
That’s all I started on anyway it’s about Alyssa and how she helps a beast find its queen and Sirenna follows and happens to look just like her-the queen-and go into a massive misstake.And I want the minions to tell me what they think.So what do you all think?
@ kyoeats souls
I have an idea.Try “The Devil Child” or “The World of Evil”
@Lizza you spelled mistake wrong.
I’ve written my first novel, edited it through 2 times and am finally finishing up my thrid time.
Querying agents is so hard, let me tell you. I’ve gotten about ten rejections so far and while it is frustrating, you have to realize that its part of the business.
I actually read this page before writing my letter, but don’t think I have it just right yet. Hopefully this summer will lead me to the right agent!!
Im not evil…
jk. ur all amazing and keep up the good work 
I keep forgetting to ask this one question…Did Auntie Heather have to get permission to mention Teenagers from My Chemical Romance in her third book?
Oh and Valkeria Chronicles; Reborn only starts out in First Person for the first chapter, after that it’s Third Person. o-o Is that a good combination?
I’ve been brainstorming on a saga with my friend and I for almost five years. Right now, we’re giving it our last try to complete the first book of the saga. We both moved to Florida to study Filmography, but he couldn’t continue studying because his loans were denied after the sixth month. Now, he’s putting all of his hopes on this story, same as me.
Success is everywhere, in every shape and size. You just need to know where to look. For me, writing is the road to success. I love writing, and I love our story. We love our characters (And yes, our antagonists as well. No matter how cruel or dark-hearted they are, we still love them, as authors). And we want to share them with the world. We want others to know the story we’ve worked so hard on.
Right now, he’s living with a friend, and he’s sleeping on an air bed in the living room. One day, he told me, while pointing at his bed messy bed “Look where I am right now. I just fail to believe that this is what God has in store for me. Angel, one day, I will call you, and I will tell you to sell everything you don’t need, and save up money, because that day, we’re heading to the airport, and travel. Just travel around the globe, with the manuscript in our hand, looking in every corner to get published.’
That warmed my heart. We’re putting everything we have onto this story. I’m even trying to look for time in my tight college schedule to just work on this story. The day we finish this manuscript, we will celebrate. We will laugh and cry with joy. A finished manuscript is the most beautiful thing there is in literature. The endless possibilities that lie on that 300 page manuscript. I just know there’s someone out there that will love our story. We will complete this story, and we will make it into the industries
My name is Angel Alcantara, and I’m an aspiring writer. If I finish this manuscript and get contracted before I graduate, I would drop my education and dedicate all my time to the story. We want to travel, we want to write, and we want to get published. And I know that some day soon, we will escape from the life we’re living, and start a new one. As authors.
Love beyond words,
Angel Alcantara.
I must say that this was a very good blog! I have been painting concrete floors for a long time, but I learned a couple of things!
vampyriclover123 is now vampyrelover123…x.x
Although I’m not too serious about writing, I also understand that comic artists have it hard as well: how hard can it be trying to sell a four-panel series to a newspaper or publisher? (example) I’M BETTING IT’S PRETTY DARN HARD.
Good think I’m aspirating to be a lawyer, but I might considering writing/drawing every now and then for the heck of it (and getting it published…eh, figure that out later XD)
Hi, Heather!
I’m so glad that I found your blog! Just got my first rejection letter today from an agent…argh! I’m hear reading your advice.
~Belle
Hai guys! Im an up and coming model and I want to make it on my own in the industry! I love messing around with cute guys and just having a good time you know?! I love my dogs, and just can’t get enough of them… and I like it when people show my kitten the same attention haha hahaha!
I’ve wanted to be an author since I was like 5 or 6. I’ve written a lot of stuff, but somehow when it gets to editing it or something I kind of fail out on that part.
But I read this and then one of my best friends offered to help me write a book.
Now we’re actually writing and editing a book.
Hi, great article.
Thank you, Auntie Heather. You’ve provided ENDLESS amounts of inspiration. Usually, I don’t get very far when it comes to writing books. And I’ve actually come to a complete halt due to a severe case of writer’s block. Thanks to you, I’m restarting. All I’m hoping for is at least acknoledgement from the publisher this time. THANKS AGAIN!!!!
-Cassandra
hey, i just found your site and love your books. I’m currently working on a book, even though I’m only 12(a girl can dream
) and its about vampires. Here’s a preveiw!(hope you don’t find it too long!)
As I ran into the dark, humid night I knew that my memories from this place would fade, but I was happy. All the things they injected in me, it all hurt so baddy. Tears grazed my face. Finally, to be out of this hell on earth and forget all about it.
But it would be a short lived victory if they captured me again. For the first time the night sky did not comfort me, as I the sick twisted monsters that kept me as a lab rat followed me into the thick forest. I heard the bullets grazed past me. I took the bomb out of my backpack, threw it back and hid behind a thick oak tree. It exploded and I heard screams. It felt good hurting them. The bomb had C4 explosives and rusted nails. That should give me time to climb up the tree, or so I thought. The bullets continued to slice the air around me. Than a bullet hit me smack in my left arm.
Want to know the worst thing about having a quick reaction time? You register pain faster. I let out yell from the pain but there was no time to cry. I cradled my injured arm with my good one than decided to keep running. I was sure no nine-year-old had been through that.
Than joy filled my heart. A road, but not just any road, a road with a car on it! So I got out a big metal rod I found and smashed the car window. I hopped in, got out my knife and started to hotwire the car when another bullet hit me in the same arm. I bit my lip but continued. I wasn’t sure if this was going to work, I only hoped. Than, to my amazement, the car roared to life. I hit the gas so hard that I had started to smell burnt rubber as the gage went to 80. I looked back and saw only white coats shaking fists at me. I giggled than turned back to the road. I’m going to loose my memory soon I remembered so I took off my chocker wrote a quick note, than put both in my right pocket.
@Caroline It’s good to know there’s another twelve year old with the dream of writing a book. If it helps, i would TOTALLY buy your book. it sounds really good.
… probably better than the one i’m writing… at least in my opinion 
haha
thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
it does really help
im almost done with the second part of the first chapter (that last one was the first part)
i’ll post it soon!!!
here you go!! its really long
The world had started to spin after about fifty miles. Damn it I thought. I’ve been shot, but why? In a snap, I realized that I was driving a Hummer in the middle of nowhere. In a panic, I drove the car into a tree. The front of the car was smashed and want to know the best part, the airbags didn’t deploy and my head went flying into the steering wheel. I managed to get out of the wreckage and pull my bag out but (of course) there was a splitting pain in my head. I started to sob as any little kid would. I looked down at my clothes. My baggy outfit was covered in blood (which only made me cry more). I look like a slave girl.
Out of nowhere, a man appeared before me. “You look very healthy” he said “other than the fact that you’re bleeding”. He was wearing a navy blue T-shirt under his large brown coat and some jeans. His hair was ruffled under his red hat and he looked like he was in his late twenty’s. “But that doesn’t matter because I’m very hungry, you see” he continued “and you’re here wasting blood. Now that simply can not do”.
That’s when I saw them, two perfect, sharpened pearl pillars hanging from the top of his mouth. I froze. Vampire. The words bolted through my mind. The things that can steal you blood and life. His deep brown eyes had turned into a scarlet red.
“Don’t worry this is only going to hurt for a second” he said calmly with a fanged smile. Move! I have to move! Finally my body responded and I took off running. But it was no use. He was all ready in front of me. He grabbed me by my shoulders and held me tight. “Let go” the word stumbling out of my mouth. I was scared so no confidence entered my words. This is it; I’m going to die here without any memories. With that thought the man leaned in and in one swift motion his fangs pierced my thin skin along my neck. Almost immediately my legs gave in under me and he knelt down. So many emotions flowed in my head; fear that I would die, confusion, joy for some reason, and most of all shock. I felt so shocked and betrayed that my parent left me here by myself. Now I was going to die here, alone in the cold, unforgiving dark.
Than the pain came back. I could hear his hungry gulps and with each one pain followed. The feeling, I couldn’t describe it yet, all I knew was it hurt like hell.
But than out of nowhere he stopped abruptly. He slowly leaned away. His eyes faded back to brown as he cleaned his chin where a fountain of blood was leaking out. I looked him straight in the eye, my eyes wide with surprise. Why didn’t he just take my life? I put my hand up to the wound and felt the blood ooze out of two fine holes.
“You poor thing,” he said, letting me go, putting his hand on my head “so many foreign liquids that your body isn’t use to”. With his thumb he wiped my tears. He stood up and looked down the road. “I can’t kill you” he sighed “you’ve been through too much already” The only thing I could do was stare up at him still in shock. “You must have managed to escape from that lab just over the hill. Come on and get up” he held his hand out to help me.
I thought of my two options. Let’s see, I could die here bleeding to death or I could go with a vampire. I hate my life. I was reaching for his hand when a sudden wave of energy came over me. I could not control my actions from that point, I only saw myself grab his hand and throw him to the other side of the road.
After that I could move myself to my will and the first thing I did was, no, not run, not scream, but say “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” I went to go help him but he was much too heavy and he was lying on his back. He’s going to kill me now! He didn’t look angry though, only surprised. He grabbed my sleeve “How did you….” He read my petrified face like a book. “I see, you don’t know either” he said and stood up for the last time, brushed himself off and walked into the forest with out a word.
I followed.
HEllo. I have written a book myself
I am only 12 almost 13, but I tink I was pretty successful 
I am still editing it… ya know checking spelling and adding some parts that i had left. The book I’m writing is about Vampires and it is about 50% different than most vampire books. I mean… most are about teenaged vampires, and such like that. Mine is a LOT different come ot think of it… Like wherever you were born dictates the way you look as a vampire. Like English Vampires which are the main vampires in my first book. But in the sequal -which I am working on now- will have Vampires form lots of different places like Rome, France, Italy, etc. Mine also has adults as the vampires since the way you become a vampire is almost completely different form other books. Like the characters are about 35-38 yrs old in the first book. I think the book i wrote would attract both adults for the concept that these people (and vampires) are about 40 years old, but still beautiful (physically and/or in their own way) and can still do all of the action/adventure ya know awesome stuff. 
But I think it would attract young adults (teens) too because of the concept of vampires. Now just because they are 35-40 years old doesn’t mean they can’t still have some pretty extroardinary times. Like in 2nd book they go on their own seperate adventures and the POV (1st person) switches off (Throughout each chapter and sometimes one whole chapter will be devoted to one character) between the two really MAIN characters now there are some other main characters but they’re like the sub-main characters. anyway…. Thank you Auntie Heather Brewer for the advice it was very helpful. 
– Or when I am completely relaxed. I mean like COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY RELAXED!!!! 
TY auntie heather
P.S.- I also sometimes have a very dark (morbid) and violent (sometimes gory) mind, so sometime si even scare myself since when I write (or read fo rthat matter) I imagine everything in my head as if I AM that character so I was kind of linked with my character’s feelings. And so while writing my book I DID cry at the sad parts, I DID feel mad at the parts where the character was mad, and I COULD imagine the pain that the character was experiencing. I usually write my best when listening to my music or am in a dark room (or at least shadowed a bit in teh corners) with no noise to distract me -or give me aheadache…argh…
Your Loyal Minion,
Jase
My question is on the end of the query letter where most authors place their bios and accomplishments. If I have never written anything and have nothing to place there, other than the word count, what should I write there?
okay so i want to be an athour cuz i read so much and love to write heres a story i thought of.
Chapter one
The meeting
One day on a deserted island a 15 year old girl was fishing on the beach. She was tan and athletic looking with blonde hair and bluish grey eyes. Her name was Krista or at least that’s what she called herself. Krista was special she had a gift, a gift she was born with. She could create change and destroy any gem.
She didn’t know it yet because her power had yet to reveal itself. But it will come soon by the time she falls asleep her power started to grow inside her. Gems grew like crazy around her. When she woke up she was in a gem hut. Krista freaked out and the gems crumbled. “ I MUST be imagining this.“ said Krista “ because there’s No way this is happing.” then after days of thing like that aping Krista finally figured out that she was making it happen then she spent months mastering her powers.
Days of trying and failing. Hours of hard work. One day she succeeded then she cheered and the gems grew so she calmed down and they shrank. “Finally” she thought then she said one simple word so they would crumble “leave”. She got pretty good at it but, she wanted to learn more. So she set out across the ocean making a gem path along the way. Little did she know she was not alone.
At the same time on the other side of the world there was a 16 year old boy that called him self Jake. Jake looked like he hadn’t had a descent meal in days. He tall tan and muscular with light brown hair and silver eyes. He also had a gift he could create change or destroy any metal but, just like Krista he too has not yet gotten his power. He got his power wile he slept as well. When he awoke he was surrounded by metal he freaked and hit his hand on the metal. He flinched expecting it to hurt instead it felt as though he hit a pillow. He look with surprise that he had made a dent in the metal. Then he kicked the metal and got the same result. Then the metal disappeared. He too took a few days to figure out that he was the reason it was happening. Then after days of tries and fails he managed to succeed. He was much faster than Krista. Then he set out for a journey determined to help with his new found powers.
Krista was walking by a tall black bank with very few windows but, lots of doors and the alarms were going off. She decided to check it out. Right when she decided to gems grew over her to form an outfit. Diamonds grew over her face, crystals grew on her arms down to her hands along her finger except the tip of her finger weren’t covered, emeralds grew over her legs, and sapphires grew over her feet. She ran inside amazed how light weight it was. As she went in the bank she noticed there were no hostages. “Good” she thought “That way if I mess up no one will get hurt.” then she spotted the bank robbers. “Weird they could be working here” she murmured. Then she jumped out and yelled “All right you’ve got ONE chance to give up before I take you down.” The robbers just looked at her and laughed. “What the best they can do send a little girl to stop us?” They said between laughs. “Oh, you think I’m just a little girl. Well this “little girl” has some tricks up her sleeve.” Then she raised her hands and rubies grew all around her they reflected the alarm light like fire. The robbers stopped laughing. “Woa. What happened? Did you do that?” “Yep that was me. So now are you scared?” “Well yea we would be stupid not to be.” Then one of the robbers did what was possibly the stupidest thing he ever did, he shot Krista
Krista just froze. Time seemed to slow down the bullet was headed strait for her chest. She closed her eyes as it hit. Then to Krista’s surprise the bullet shattered. The robbers just stared in amazement. Then Krista understood and got pissed. The robbers saw and dropped their guns and ran but, Krista was faster. She caught the robbers and punched one in the stomach. He doubled over the other one covered his stomach but she just grabbed his wrist and flipped him. Then she ran because the police were there and she didn’t think they would be so kind to her as she ran she looked over her shoulder and said “ Call me diamond.” As she left so did the gems she made when she was there. When the cops saw the robbers on the floor they just stared. “What happened to you?” one asks as he brought them up. “There was this crazy gem girl that came in and attacked us.” “Yea right and I’m the tooth fairy.” he replied then it was all over the news how the robbers were found defeated and that they kept saying that a mysterious “gem girl” came and stopped them. They were called insane and maniacs, that is until Jake stopped a crime. It was a few weeks later and Jake had heard of Krista but was unsure of the story. Then he was walking by a small convenient store he heard a yell and looked up there were people on the floor and a guy had a gun pointed to the casher. Jake ran in and as he did metal seemed to fuse with his skin. When he was inside he didn’t even look human. The robber shifted the gun point from the casher to him. “Alright that’s enough drop the gun and no one gets hurt.” he said calmly. The robber quickly obliged. Iron was shocked “Why did you do it, I mean why did you listen to me?” “Well because you’re freaking me out.” Jake turned to the cashier “ call the cops I’ll make sure he doesn’t leave.” Then he simply raised his hands and steel bars grew around the robber. Iron turned to leave when the cashier yelled “Hey kid, wait, what’s your name?” Jake hesitated then smiled “Just call me Steel.” then he walked out. The cops came surprised by another story but were forced to believe this one to be true.
By then Krista had heard of Steel (Jake) and Jake had heard of Krista. They wanted to meet desperately but had no idea how to. By complete chance they were both by the same bank it was very much like the bank Krista had stopped her very first crime and it was being robbed. They didn’t see one another amazingly. By the time they did see one another they both had there “costumes” on. At first they just stared then someone yelled. The robbers had hostages.
________________________________________________
Chapter two the disappearance
________________________________________________
Krista jumped in to action attacking the nearest robber. Jake soon followed her lead. She had grabbed his gun and twisted it out of his hand. Then flipped him and locked him on the ground. Jake had a different approach he punched the other robber in the stomach and kneed her in the nose. He left her curled on the floor. Then the police were there. “Great I’m going to have to explain.” Krista mumbled. “ I’ll stay right here with you if you want.” Iron said “Yea I’d like that.” Then the police where there staring at Krista then Jake then the robbers on the floor. “what happened here?” one of them asked. “We took care of it.” they said at the same time. Then they both laugh “ And what is your name miss?” “I’m Kr-Diamond my name is Diamond.” “ Hm Diamond. Well I guess that fits and we already know you your Steel right?” “Right my name is Steel. Um can we leave?” “ No I’m sorry but even if you did help you need to come with us.” When the police said that Krista freaked out.
Gems grew all over the place the cops didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t see Krista running but Jake could and he ran after her. Krista knew she was being fallowed but didn’t look back. She finally stopped at a deserted beach. Then she turned to face her follower not knowing it was Jake. When she realized who it was she sighed and sat down. “ Man you can run fast.” He said sitting next to her. “ Thanks but its not without a price.” Right as she said that her stomach grumbled. They both laughed. “ I’ll build a fire if you can go fishing.” “yea I can fish I’ve spent my entire life on a beach.” So Krista went fishing and Jake made a fire they talked the entire time. They found they had more in common then they thought. Soon they were eating fish and laughing. “Wow so you really wrestled a shark?” “Yea its easier than you would think” Jake was thinking that he should show her what he really looked like. Krista was thinking the same thing and they were about to show each other when they heard alarms “We have to go help.” they said simultaneously. They both laughed then run straight where the alarms are coming from. They made it there before the cops and saw that the building was empty “ What the?” “I don’t know lets get out of here before the cops come.” But it was to late the police where there “ Alright we don’t want any trouble just come with us.” one said as he reached for Krista. Jake stepped in and grabbed the police officers wrist. “ I don’t think she wants to go with you sir.” “Yes, well it doesn’t matter what she wants to do now does it.” “well actually it does.” then Iron flipped him, “ RUN!” he yelled to Krista. She just stood there watching as Jake fought for her. “GO I’ll be fine.” then she snapped out of it and ran she ran faster than she ever did before. Then she heard foot steps she turned around ready to attack but it was just Jake. Then she ran and hugged him “Oh thank you sooo much for helping me.” “ Hey it was nothing I’m sure you would have done the same for me.” But Jake was blushing. “Here you sit down and I’ll make you something to eat you don’t even have to move.” Jake smiled “ Okay but you don’t have to.” “Oh come, on it’s the least I can do after you saved me.” Then Krista set to work making a fire and cooking food. Jake watched her run back and forth wanting to help but every time he tried she would just say “ No, no sit I’ve got everything under control.” So he just sat there watching her. Finally she finished and laid a flat stone in front of him with different kinds of fish on it Jake looked at Krista and smiled as he took a bite. “ Wow this is great here have some” He offered her a piece and she shook her head “no its okay I’ll eat something else that’s your food” Now that was when Jake insisted he stood up “No you can eat this you made it you should get to eat it too.” Krista just stared at him surprised then she sat down an looked at him and he slowly sat down and offered her some fish she took a piece and ate it. Then she smiled “ huh your right this is good.” then they both started laughing. After they were full and the food was eaten Krista thought it was a good idea to take turns on watch so Krista insisted first watch Jake had no choice but to agree. So Jake went to sleep as Krista sat by the fire looking around. Jake knew she could handle watch but he still couldn’t wait until she woke him up for his watch. Before he fell asleep the last thing he saw was Krista that night he dreamt that Krista turned evil and started robbing banks and she had black eyes but she didn’t want to but, she was forced to then he woke up and he was completely and utterly alone. He looks around wildly trying to find where Krista went then he starts screaming “KRISTA, KRISTA WHERE ARE YOU?” He ran this way and that looking for her. Always screaming her name. he ran from town to town looking for her ignoring the stares he got from people, the alarms going off, and the police sirens. That is till he reached the town where they first met and he hears the alarm of the bank where they first fought together. Then he ran to the bank and the police where already there. He turned to leave cursing when one of the officers spotted him and yelled “Wait steel come back we wont arrest you if you help us, this robber we can’t stop.” Jake turns around and walks towards the police “What who is he?” The police look around uncomfortably “what? Who is he?” He asked “well the robbers no a he more like she.” Jake then got mad “WHO IS SHE?” The cops look startled and then the chief said “Its diamond” Jakes head spins “What about diamond is she in there?” “Oh yea she’s in there alright.” “What do you mean is she okay?” “Yea she’s fine because she’s the robber” Jake couldn’t take it “ NO THAT’S NOT HER SHE’S GOOD.” “ Whoa there calm down we saw her unless she has an evil twin that can control gems that’s her in there.” Jake got to his peak “ LIARS I’LL SHOW YOU I’LL GO IN THERE AND PROVE YOUR WRONG.” Then with out another word he ran into the bank. It was very quiet in the bank and dark all the lights were out the window was broken and the door was locked. He slowly walked over by the window and he heard the glass crunching under his foot glad that the metal protected his foot. Then he heard a laugh and looked around and there she was Krista standing there with a bag full of money. “Diamond what are you doing” “ what does it look like? I’m robbing this bank its great huh?” “ what are you talking about? Your good you STOP robbers you aren’t one.” “well then why am I robbing this bank then” when she asked that she looked him in the eye and he realized that through the diamonds covering her eyes they are black and not bluish gray. “Wait your not Diamond you have black eyes.” Diamond laughed “sure I am if I wasn’t would I be able to do this?” Then she threw a diamond the size of her head at him so hard it knocked hem out the window and he crashed into a police car. The cops rushed around him “hey kid you okay?” But Jake couldn’t hear him his eyes slowly closed and the last thing he said was “Diamond where are you?”
i haven’t thought of a name yet
okay so i want to be an athour cuz i read so much and love to write heres a story i thought of.
Chapter one
The meeting
One day on a deserted island a 15 year old girl was fishing on the beach. She was tan and athletic looking with blonde hair and bluish grey eyes. Her name was Krista or at least that’s what she called herself. Krista was special she had a gift, a gift she was born with. She could create change and destroy any gem.
She didn’t know it yet because her power had yet to reveal itself. But it will come soon by the time she falls asleep her power started to grow inside her. Gems grew like crazy around her. When she woke up she was in a gem hut. Krista freaked out and the gems crumbled. “ I MUST be imagining this.“ said Krista “ because there’s No way this is happing.” then after days of thing like that aping Krista finally figured out that she was making it happen then she spent months mastering her powers.
Days of trying and failing. Hours of hard work. One day she succeeded then she cheered and the gems grew so she calmed down and they shrank. “Finally” she thought then she said one simple word so they would crumble “leave”. She got pretty good at it but, she wanted to learn more. So she set out across the ocean making a gem path along the way. Little did she know she was not alone.
At the same time on the other side of the world there was a 16 year old boy that called him self Jake. Jake looked like he hadn’t had a descent meal in days. He tall tan and muscular with light brown hair and silver eyes. He also had a gift he could create change or destroy any metal but, just like Krista he too has not yet gotten his power. He got his power wile he slept as well. When he awoke he was surrounded by metal he freaked and hit his hand on the metal. He flinched expecting it to hurt instead it felt as though he hit a pillow. He look with surprise that he had made a dent in the metal. Then he kicked the metal and got the same result. Then the metal disappeared. He too took a few days to figure out that he was the reason it was happening. Then after days of tries and fails he managed to succeed. He was much faster than Krista. Then he set out for a journey determined to help with his new found powers.
Krista was walking by a tall black bank with very few windows but, lots of doors and the alarms were going off. She decided to check it out. Right when she decided to gems grew over her to form an outfit. Diamonds grew over her face, crystals grew on her arms down to her hands along her finger except the tip of her finger weren’t covered, emeralds grew over her legs, and sapphires grew over her feet. She ran inside amazed how light weight it was. As she went in the bank she noticed there were no hostages. “Good” she thought “That way if I mess up no one will get hurt.” then she spotted the bank robbers. “Weird they could be working here” she murmured. Then she jumped out and yelled “All right you’ve got ONE chance to give up before I take you down.” The robbers just looked at her and laughed. “What the best they can do send a little girl to stop us?” They said between laughs. “Oh, you think I’m just a little girl. Well this “little girl” has some tricks up her sleeve.” Then she raised her hands and rubies grew all around her they reflected the alarm light like fire. The robbers stopped laughing. “Woa. What happened? Did you do that?” “Yep that was me. So now are you scared?” “Well yea we would be stupid not to be.” Then one of the robbers did what was possibly the stupidest thing he ever did, he shot Krista
Krista just froze. Time seemed to slow down the bullet was headed strait for her chest. She closed her eyes as it hit. Then to Krista’s surprise the bullet shattered. The robbers just stared in amazement. Then Krista understood and got pissed. The robbers saw and dropped their guns and ran but, Krista was faster. She caught the robbers and punched one in the stomach. He doubled over the other one covered his stomach but she just grabbed his wrist and flipped him. Then she ran because the police were there and she didn’t think they would be so kind to her as she ran she looked over her shoulder and said “ Call me diamond.” As she left so did the gems she made when she was there. When the cops saw the robbers on the floor they just stared. “What happened to you?” one asks as he brought them up. “There was this crazy gem girl that came in and attacked us.” “Yea right and I’m the tooth fairy.” he replied then it was all over the news how the robbers were found defeated and that they kept saying that a mysterious “gem girl” came and stopped them. They were called insane and maniacs, that is until Jake stopped a crime. It was a few weeks later and Jake had heard of Krista but was unsure of the story. Then he was walking by a small convenient store he heard a yell and looked up there were people on the floor and a guy had a gun pointed to the casher. Jake ran in and as he did metal seemed to fuse with his skin. When he was inside he didn’t even look human. The robber shifted the gun point from the casher to him. “Alright that’s enough drop the gun and no one gets hurt.” he said calmly. The robber quickly obliged. Iron was shocked “Why did you do it, I mean why did you listen to me?” “Well because you’re freaking me out.” Jake turned to the cashier “ call the cops I’ll make sure he doesn’t leave.” Then he simply raised his hands and steel bars grew around the robber. Iron turned to leave when the cashier yelled “Hey kid, wait, what’s your name?” Jake hesitated then smiled “Just call me Steel.” then he walked out. The cops came surprised by another story but were forced to believe this one to be true.
By then Krista had heard of Steel (Jake) and Jake had heard of Krista. They wanted to meet desperately but had no idea how to. By complete chance they were both by the same bank it was very much like the bank Krista had stopped her very first crime and it was being robbed. They didn’t see one another amazingly. By the time they did see one another they both had there “costumes” on. At first they just stared then someone yelled. The robbers had hostages.
________________________________________________
Chapter two the disappearance
________________________________________________
Krista jumped in to action attacking the nearest robber. Jake soon followed her lead. She had grabbed his gun and twisted it out of his hand. Then flipped him and locked him on the ground. Jake had a different approach he punched the other robber in the stomach and kneed her in the nose. He left her curled on the floor. Then the police were there. “Great I’m going to have to explain.” Krista mumbled. “ I’ll stay right here with you if you want.” Iron said “Yea I’d like that.” Then the police where there staring at Krista then Jake then the robbers on the floor. “what happened here?” one of them asked. “We took care of it.” they said at the same time. Then they both laugh “ And what is your name miss?” “I’m Kr-Diamond my name is Diamond.” “ Hm Diamond. Well I guess that fits and we already know you your Steel right?” “Right my name is Steel. Um can we leave?” “ No I’m sorry but even if you did help you need to come with us.” When the police said that Krista freaked out.
Gems grew all over the place the cops didn’t know what to do. They couldn’t see Krista running but Jake could and he ran after her. Krista knew she was being fallowed but didn’t look back. She finally stopped at a deserted beach. Then she turned to face her follower not knowing it was Jake. When she realized who it was she sighed and sat down. “ Man you can run fast.” He said sitting next to her. “ Thanks but its not without a price.” Right as she said that her stomach grumbled. They both laughed. “ I’ll build a fire if you can go fishing.” “yea I can fish I’ve spent my entire life on a beach.” So Krista went fishing and Jake made a fire they talked the entire time. They found they had more in common then they thought. Soon they were eating fish and laughing. “Wow so you really wrestled a shark?” “Yea its easier than you would think” Jake was thinking that he should show her what he really looked like. Krista was thinking the same thing and they were about to show each other when they heard alarms “We have to go help.” they said simultaneously. They both laughed then run straight where the alarms are coming from. They made it there before the cops and saw that the building was empty “ What the?” “I don’t know lets get out of here before the cops come.” But it was to late the police where there “ Alright we don’t want any trouble just come with us.” one said as he reached for Krista. Jake stepped in and grabbed the police officers wrist. “ I don’t think she wants to go with you sir.” “Yes, well it doesn’t matter what she wants to do now does it.” “well actually it does.” then Iron flipped him, “ RUN!” he yelled to Krista. She just stood there watching as Jake fought for her. “GO I’ll be fine.” then she snapped out of it and ran she ran faster than she ever did before. Then she heard foot steps she turned around ready to attack but it was just Jake. Then she ran and hugged him “Oh thank you sooo much for helping me.” “ Hey it was nothing I’m sure you would have done the same for me.” But Jake was blushing. “Here you sit down and I’ll make you something to eat you don’t even have to move.” Jake smiled “ Okay but you don’t have to.” “Oh come, on it’s the least I can do after you saved me.” Then Krista set to work making a fire and cooking food. Jake watched her run back and forth wanting to help but every time he tried she would just say “ No, no sit I’ve got everything under control.” So he just sat there watching her. Finally she finished and laid a flat stone in front of him with different kinds of fish on it Jake looked at Krista and smiled as he took a bite. “ Wow this is great here have some” He offered her a piece and she shook her head “no its okay I’ll eat something else that’s your food” Now that was when Jake insisted he stood up “No you can eat this you made it you should get to eat it too.” Krista just stared at him surprised then she sat down an looked at him and he slowly sat down and offered her some fish she took a piece and ate it. Then she smiled “ huh your right this is good.” then they both started laughing. After they were full and the food was eaten Krista thought it was a good idea to take turns on watch so Krista insisted first watch Jake had no choice but to agree. So Jake went to sleep as Krista sat by the fire looking around. Jake knew she could handle watch but he still couldn’t wait until she woke him up for his watch. Before he fell asleep the last thing he saw was Krista that night he dreamt that Krista turned evil and started robbing banks and she had black eyes but she didn’t want to but, she was forced to then he woke up and he was completely and utterly alone. He looks around wildly trying to find where Krista went then he starts screaming “KRISTA, KRISTA WHERE ARE YOU?” He ran this way and that looking for her. Always screaming her name. he ran from town to town looking for her ignoring the stares he got from people, the alarms going off, and the police sirens. That is till he reached the town where they first met and he hears the alarm of the bank where they first fought together. Then he ran to the bank and the police where already there. He turned to leave cursing when one of the officers spotted him and yelled “Wait steel come back we wont arrest you if you help us, this robber we can’t stop.” Jake turns around and walks towards the police “What who is he?” The police look around uncomfortably “what? Who is he?” He asked “well the robbers no a he more like she.” Jake then got mad “WHO IS SHE?” The cops look startled and then the chief said “Its diamond” Jakes head spins “What about diamond is she in there?” “Oh yea she’s in there alright.” “What do you mean is she okay?” “Yea she’s fine because she’s the robber” Jake couldn’t take it “ NO THAT’S NOT HER SHE’S GOOD.” “ Whoa there calm down we saw her unless she has an evil twin that can control gems that’s her in there.” Jake got to his peak “ LIARS I’LL SHOW YOU I’LL GO IN THERE AND PROVE YOUR WRONG.” Then with out another word he ran into the bank. It was very quiet in the bank and dark all the lights were out the window was broken and the door was locked. He slowly walked over by the window and he heard the glass crunching under his foot glad that the metal protected his foot. Then he heard a laugh and looked around and there she was Krista standing there with a bag full of money. “Diamond what are you doing” “ what does it look like? I’m robbing this bank its great huh?” “ what are you talking about? Your good you STOP robbers you aren’t one.” “well then why am I robbing this bank then” when she asked that she looked him in the eye and he realized that through the diamonds covering her eyes they are black and not bluish gray. “Wait your not Diamond you have black eyes.” Diamond laughed “sure I am if I wasn’t would I be able to do this?” Then she threw a diamond the size of her head at him so hard it knocked hem out the window and he crashed into a police car. The cops rushed around him “hey kid you okay?” But Jake couldn’t hear him his eyes slowly closed and the last thing he said was “Diamond where are you?”
i haven’t thought of a name yet please help me choose one
Wow now I know you have to do more stuff, that just try to get published. I didn’t think you needed some sort of agent thing to go around and show off your work. I’m going to think this over, but I still want to be an author at the age of fifteen.
@ Yisreala, i think the story line is really good but you just have to slow down. Discribe the islands, the training, how they met, etc.
If you what to skip to a curtin part then start the story when they meet and when they’re at the fire they can then go into much detail. All i’m saying is slow down and add lots of detail.
but overall it’s amazing
looking foward to hear from you agian – Caroline
i’m working on a book too oddly enough, mmaybe sometime i’ll post a few chapters if, i get the courage to do so.
Sorry about the spelling and grammar errors, i forgot to proof read.
Hello I’ve been working on this book that I want to write its called ” The Prophesy of Jenny Flores its actually a book about me of what I want to happen in my life some thing that I put in i are reall that I actually did.In my book I am the most powerful there is or ever will be. I am a very powerful psychic with telekenisis and pyrokenises the abilities to move things with ones mind and the other to start fires with ones mind.
@Caroline. I like your writing, ideas, characters. I read it slow and I could see what you were writing. There are a few questions I had. like the C4 and shrapnel? Where do you get that from the lab and on the run? Also ease up on the “out of nowhere” phrase. It kept pausing the reading flow. Flow is very important to me as a reader and whether ill buy the book or not. At this point, though, ill look forward to your complete book. That would be cool! Good luck.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the advice
! i really am taking it to my gut!
Chapter 3 is 10 and a half pages so i can’t post it but mabye we can exchange emails sometime.
But its about a boy kelly meets and he is a warlock. the whole chapter basicly shows you what they did to her at the lab those 5 years.
anyway i will make the changes you sugested!
@Caroline. I have 2 girls. Ages 15 & 13. My 13 is the Vlad fan who got me hooked on Auntie Heathers site and books. We hope to meet her on her tour.
I read them your book and they love it too. Yes, we want to read more. I think the paragraph starting “you poor thing” really hooked us. Here is my email, eve7270@gmail.com
Your beginning comment says your 12 so keep up the good work and yes a girl can dream… Big!
thank and check your email ‘cus i got to go bye!!
@Caroline. Got it. Thank you for sending it.
@Caroline: For a 12 year old your writing is actually very good. A little bit of research could help you put together your ideas as to types of weapons used, if any. Reading best selling novels is another great way to learn how to put the ideas together. However your story telling is very in good. I would love to read more, so keep up the good work.