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It seems that many of you Minions want me to come hang out with you (if I’m wrong, just allow me my delusion, ‘kay?). So I thought I’d tell you exactly how to make that happen. See, we authors are rarely rich, almost always busy, and at the mercy of the coolest people on the planet (next to Minions, of course). I like to call these people librarians.

Librarians rock. Seriously. They know what books we might like to read. They encourage us to read banned materials. And on the whole, they’re really fun people. They also can help arrange author visits, which is what we’re discussing today.

So, if you want me to visit, here’s what you do: Pay a visit to your local librarian (and hey, bringing chocolate or flowers never hurts!). Make sure you’ve got reasons lined up for wanting me to visit (“it would rock”, while a compliment, isn’t a solid reason – try outlining how it would benefit library patrons). And ask if they would consider asking me to visit their library.

That’s it.

Then it’s out of your hands, as it’s out of mine. Easy, right?

Unfortunately, I can’t visit everyone, everywhere. I do need time to write (and I’m afraid my Muse just doesn’t travel well). But we can always hang out online, and of course I’ll answer any questions that you might have here. And if we do get to visit in person….well, that’s kinda awesome, innit?

Speaking of librarians…if you’re a teen librarian, drop me a line. I’ve got something for you.

EDITED TO ADD: By “teen librarian”, Minions, I mean someone who works in the Teen section….not necesarrily someone who is a teen and works at the library.

I’ll be at Saint Louis Public Library’s Schlafly’s Branch (225 N. Euclid Ave. Saint Louis, MO 63108 – phone: (314) 367-4120) this coming Tuesday, September 30th at 6pm. I’ll be giving out tons of Minion Bling, signing books (which will be available for purchase, thanks to Left Bank Books!). This is a totally free event – I’ll be talking about my Vladimir Tod series, doing a t-shirt raffle, and even giving a few hints on TENTH GRADE BLEEDS, so this is something you don’t want to miss!

If you can’t come, but know someone in the Saint Louis area, please pass this info along – the more, the bloodier! Er…merrier.

The date is set! You can all look for TENTH GRADE BLEEDS as of

July 9, 2009!

(and no, still no word on when you can pre-order it…stay tuned)

Thank you – all of you – for giving me more birthday happies (Hey…it could be a word!) than I have ever received. You guys are too cool!

A tiny reminder before I delve into a mountain of work (I’ve checked four things off of my huge to-do list, but still have six things left…and they’re all biggies): HAIKU CONTEST! So far, the haikus are pretty amazing. Seriously, Auntie Heather will have a hard time choosing the winners. If you haven’t entered, do so. Either here or here or both.

Velcome to my e-party, Minions! I’ve got the room all decorated and ready, complete with black ballons a Tim Burton themed candy buffet spooky birthday cake and something Vlad insisted on…a type of sorbet (Which type? AB Negative)

Gerard Way has already shown up and he brought me a present I’ve wanted forever – a couch made out of an actual coffin!!!

This should be the most fangtastic birthday ever!

And every party should have prizes, so why don’t you Minions head on over to Linda Gerber’s blog to win some? Linda is having a party of her own – celebrating the launch of her newest book, DEATH BY LATTE!

Have ye been buckling ye swash, me maties? I totally have. Cuz Auntie Heather loves her some pirates.

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I wanted to remind you Minions that you need to pre-order an incredible new book (due out February 1, 2009) by A.S. King (and if you can’t pre-order it, then get your booty to the bookstore and demand a copy come February). The book is called THE DUST OF 100 DOGS and trust me, Minions, it is FABULOUS. I loved it so much that I gave A.S. a blurb and from what I hear, at least apart of my blurb will be featured on the cover! WOOT! Anyhoo, here’s the book:
And here’s what I and other fabulous people have said about it:

“Exciting, fascinating, spellbinding. A rich tale of a girl born with a compass firmly planted in her hand. A.S. King is a force to be reckoned with. I’d follow Saffron into the briny deep.”
~Heather Brewer, author of The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod

“The Dust of 100 Dogs is a non-traditional pirate tale with a dangerously raw, mystical edge and a unique modern twist that will make you cringe, despair, despise and adore. Deliciously fresh and starkly unforgettable… for at least the next three hundred years.”
~Lisa McMann, NYT bestselling author of Wake

“This is a quirky, mystical, exuberant, dangerous story about pirates, dogs, family, and what it really means to break free. It’s about the true meaning of success and failure. Raw, tangible and brilliant, A.S. King creates a story that’s more than memorable. Like the 300-year-old curse that has befallen Emer, this book lasts and it makes an impression. I adored it.”
~Carrie Jones, author of Tips on Having a Gay (ex) Boyfriend, Love (and Other Uses for Duct Tape), and Girl, Hero

“Sparkling original, A.S. King’s The Dust of 100 Dogs features an intrepid heroine who is both swashbuckling and contemporary. This gripping adventure, wall to wall with assured storytelling, is sure to be devoured by both teens and adults.”
~Lauren Baratz-Logsted, author of Angel’s Choice

GO PRE-ORDER IT NOW!

Auntie Heather is in a giving mood. Apart from the art contest, I think the Minion Horde needs a quickie contest here on the blog. Don’t you, Minions?

So…do you know what a haiku is? Well, good (if you do…if not, go to that link and read – it’s basically a poem with three lines, first line has five syllables, second has seven, third has five). Because we’re going to hold a Vlad Tod haiku mini-contest!!!

I’ll leave this open until September 30th and pick/announce the winner on October 1st. To enter, just post your Vlad-inspired (or any other character/whatnot from my books) haiku as a comment to this thread. If you post anonymously (which you can do if you don’t have a Blogger account), make sure you post your name and then watch the blog on October 1st to see if you’ve won. You only get one shot, one entry, so make it a good one. I’ll be holding two contests – one here and the other on MySpace. Feel free to enter both.

What will you win? Why, 100 of your very own Minion Horde business cards!

You can pass them out to non-Minion friends, use them as bookmarks, horde them away like an evil troll…whatever you want. They’re yours.

Get crackin’!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7XoC4Tf_X8&hl=en&fs=1]

Auntie Heather has a nasty habit of overextending herself, Minions. But fortunately, I work really well under pressure – in fact, it’s when I’m not under pressure that I flail around, not knowing what to do next. So, pressure is good. It’s just…stressful.

Take for instance, everything that is currently on my to-do list. I’m writing ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS, working on a new manuscript (it’s a secret), rewriting a YA horror manuscript, developing a YA Thriller story for an upcoming anthology (more on this later), and writing two super-special short stories for my website – not to mention all my appearances and family stuff. Whew! I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

So if the blog gets a little quiet, shh! Vlad and I are sleepy.