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Sunday, February 28th, 2010
(and I will totally take credit for how FANGtastic this is…even though it’s totally Penguin Young Readers and Mess Marketing’s fault – I had very little to do with its epic awesomeness)
Minions, you have been so good to me. You have accepted me for who I am and have done my bidding without question, without fail. Dude, you even put me on the New York Times!!! In short, YOU ROCK! And you deserve an incredible pressie from your Auntie Heather.
I give you….VladTod.com
It’s your site, Minions. YOURS! With cool downloads and info on where I’ll be and when. Lots of free stuff like icons, desktop wallpapers. And we’ll have more stuff soon! The end of March, we’re launching KRPT, our own radio station (“live from the Crypt…”)! It’ll be all cool and only the music you love (so feel free to email me lists of songs you want to hear). And…Auntie Heather will DJ. Also, watch for some sick apps coming soon too. For instance…one that translates your Twitter tweets into Elysian Code!
From me to you, my Minion Horde.
Consider it a thank you. Though I owe you guys so much more.
Yours in Eternity,
Auntie Heather
Tags: Cool Stuff Posted in Uncategorized | 164 Comments »
Thursday, February 25th, 2010
This is a subject I’ve been avoiding blogging about, for various reasons. But it’s time. I can’t avoid the discussion anymore, and shouldn’t, perhaps. To kick it off, I want to share with you two pics.

You see that girl on the right? The one who looks swollen and clearly out of shape? If you look really closely, you can see an unhappy glint in her eye. She’s unhappy with her weight, unhappy with her life. She weighs 255.5lbs. That girl is me. Or was.
Up until recently, I was morbidly obese for about 15 years. I panted after going up stairs. My back hurt all of the time. I snored and never felt rested. I couldn’t chase after my daughter or do anything that required movement with my son. I was miserable, and completely unhealthy.
So I decided to do something about it. Something I’ve spoken about on Twitter and Facebook, but not here. Mostly because I want to make sure that I convey the right message – that you should love who you are, no matter what size you are, and that this was about health for me…not vanity.
That being said, this pic is also me.

But this is me recently, at 137.2lbs. I’m happier, healthier, don’t pant, chase my kids, and feel amazing.
I lost all that weight in a year, with some determination and common sense (and my doctor’s advice). I stayed away from carbs and cut way back on junk food, ate lots of protein and drank lots of water. And I feel better than I ever have.
Why do I bring this up? Because it’s too obvious not to talk about. Because people have asked me about it. People have asked me how I did it.
The first thing to do if you’re concerned about your weight is to discuss it with your doctor, to ask them if you’re not at a healthy BMI, and if you aren’t, exactly how you should healthily lose the excess weight. Don’t ignore your doctor’s advice. The key here is health – and if your doc says you don’t need to lose weight, then you don’t. But most importantly, love yourself at any size. As unhappy as I was at 255.5, I still loved myself. I was still the same person I am today. Still fun, quirky, geeky, and macabre. Be yourself. Love yourself.
But take care of yourself.
By the way, Minions…we’re #6 on the New York Times this week! Here’s hoping for a threepeat!!!
Posted in Uncategorized | 160 Comments »
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
Well, it was a LONG tour. But a FANGtastic one! I met so many amazing Minions, reconnected with some, and really just enjoyed myself more than humanly possible. Then yesterday, I came home. And I am so unbelievably happy to be here! My wonderful family met me at the airport with a bottle of Dom Perignon, a bouquet of ballons (one of which was a giant #5), and a copy of my book (media escorts often do this so an author recognizes who they’re supposed to go with, so it was really funny). After lots of tears and hugs and kisses and joy, we grabbed something to eat and headed home, so I could love on my kitty Amenti, who wasn’t the least bit happy that I abandoned her for two whole weeks (but no worries, all is forgiven now – it’s amazing what some petting and kitty treats can do).
And that’s when I noticed my desk was missing.
After I asked where the heck it ws, my family said they moved it downstairs into the creepy basement for me. Great! I was all sorts of prepared to go to work down there and last was the last step. Good family.
They insisted I go down and take a look, and what did I find? My amazing, incredible family (along with Jacob’s best friend, Zy) had completely refinished the creepy office space! No more stud walls or bare ceiling! They drywalled it and painted it (black ceiling, dark gray walls, red trim, black doors) and set it all up for me!!! I CRIED! Like hardcore. It as the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I have an office. A real live, actual office. All because of my amazing family.
Excuse the crappy phone pics, but here’s a glimpse:
 
And the pics soooooo don’t do it justice. The ceiling light has been painted to look like spiderwebs. I have a kick butt stereo that my iphone will plug into, and so much room. My own space. It’s incredible. I can’t believe they pulled this off so quickly!
It’s good to be home. But the fun’s not over yet! Check out my Appearances page, St. Louis/St. Charles Minions! Because you still have THREE more stops coming up!!
Tags: Tour Posted in Uncategorized | 154 Comments »
Friday, February 19th, 2010
Okay, Minions, so you may have noticed the lack of blogging around here. And the lack of event pics! But I swear to Vlad I have a great excuse. No, I didn’t forget or lose my camera this time. No, monsters from the Deep Dark Awful didn’t whisk me away in the middle of the night (but thanks for asking). In fact, my excuse, and my FANGtastic news….
…..wait for it…..
is that I’ve been busy feeling dizzy! Because ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS is a New York Times Bestseller!!!! I debuted at #5 on the series list, and cracking that series list is next to impossble…let along at #5. I also managed to grab #69 on the USA Today bestseller list AND #13 on the Wall Street Journal’s bestseller list!
So. Now people around the world will refer to me as “New York Times Bestselling Author Heather Brewer”.
But you, my Minions, may call me Auntie Heather.
And to celebrate being #5…I’m going to give away FIVE hoodies to random Minions who comment here. Your choice between the pullover and the zip-up. I’ll ick awinner on the 22nd. GO!!!
WINNERS ANNOUNCED!!!! If your name is listed here, please email Auntie Heather’s assistant, Paul at paul@heatherbrewer.com and give him your mailing address, along with type of hoodie you prefer.
Ar Orlando
Nemesis
Elysia Esperanza
Vampire Kitty Overlord
Boink
Tags: Happy News Posted in Uncategorized | 978 Comments »
Monday, February 15th, 2010
Tags: Tour Posted in Uncategorized | 115 Comments »
Sunday, February 14th, 2010
My plan, dearest Minions, had been to blog every single day of my tour. But then…tragedy struck. Tragedy that involves a dead camera battery and Auntie Heather forgetting her camera in her hotel room. So…let me ’splain. No, is too long. Let me sum up.
San Francisco was amazing! And I did manange to get a few pics of it! If you haven’t been to Kepler’s, go. They’re brilliant and amazing and so, so accomodating. Also, they have a billion of my books.

Plus, I got to hang with some Minions, which I just love!
  
And then last night I was at Vroman’s in LA. It was incredible! Of course, I have no pics to share. But just trust me.
Tonight I’ll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables, FL. And I’d better see my Minions there!
Tags: Tour Posted in Uncategorized | 68 Comments »
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
For a loooooong time now, I’ve dreamt of setting foot inside some of the greatest bookstores: Powell’s, Vroman’s, Kepler’s. And this tour has made that dream come true. I got to speak at Powell’s, to an amazing crow of about 50 Minions, of every age, tonight. It was fangtastic! Thank you so much, Penguin, for making this happen. I’m still grinning! Anyhoo, on to the pics…
Me, speaking (probably blathering on about why Vlad doesn’t sparkle – or maybe I was giving out a good blood sausage recipe. Who knows? It could’ve been one of those critically important details…or something else altogether) 
My oh-so-patient Minions waiting in line (no butts were signed)
And I just have to show you this pic. WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING WITH MY HAND??? And why has it morphed into that totally bizarre shape? Is that even physically possible?? Weird, right?

Anyhoo, I had an absolute BLAST. This tour has been so much fun…and we’re just getting started, Minions! I’ll see you all on Friday at Kepler’s in Menlo Park, CA at 7pm!
Posted in Uncategorized | 84 Comments »
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
Wow. Being on tour is exhausting and fun and crazy and amazing, all rolled into one. Even though my author friends told me, I still wasn’t prepared. It’s incredible…and tiring. But great!
So yesterday I woke up in my room at the Monaco Hotel in Seattle, and after getting ready for my big first day on tour, my escort Susan whisked me off for an intense 12-hour Seattle adventure. First I visited with 90 fangtastic Minions at Voyager Middle School (including one Minion named Yza, who gave me the most amazing artwork of Vlad – you rock, Yza!).
 
We sold out of books (BOOYAH!), but the excellent folks at Third Place Book took some orders and we arranged for me to sign them for the lucky Minions. But first, I had to swing by Timbercrest Middle School to hang out with 250 Minions.
 
Then, after grabbing a quick, late lunch back at Third Place Books and signing both the ordered books and their stock, Susan took me to three stores to sign stock, before delivering me to the fabulous folks at Secret Garden Bookshop for my 7pm event.
 
And I saw a troll. A giant troll. Under the bridge in Seattle.
I named him Ferdinand. It was awesome. But I was so digging him that I forgot to take a pic. *le sigh*
All in all, an amazing day. But I did pass out once I hit my hotel again…
Today, I’m in Portland, staying in a fancier hotel than I deserve, having some much-needed downtime before my dream event at the amazing Powell’s! It’s at 7:30pm tonight, Minions. Be there if you can!
Tags: Tour Posted in Uncategorized | 54 Comments »
Monday, February 8th, 2010
WOW. I knew I coud throw a party. And I knew the Snow Ball would be a blast. But I had NO IDEA it would be THAT much fun!!! Pics absolutely cannot do this justice, but I had my sister snap off a few for this blog (thanks, Dawn!), until the really good pics come back from the photographer, just so I could show you all the awesomeness that was the Snow Ball.
First off, I’ve been told that there was a line outside the door starting a half hour before doors were set to open. You Minions must have been anxious! But I wouldn’t know. Because from about a half hour before until about 20 mins. after the doors opened, I was sitting in a back, dark, lonely lil room, waiting for my big rock n roll entrance to begin.
And then it did.
My lovely assistant/husband, Paul, rallied up the crowd to the tune of “Headfirst for Halos” by MCR (one of my FAVE songs), and after he announced “Auntie Heather Brewer!!”, my son Jacob (who was totally Vlad!) opened the door and I came out to so much applause and screams that I nearly cried. After a few high fives, I thanked everyone for coming and read from ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS. Just look at all these adoring faces:

And then…it was time to get down to business. It was party time.
We ate great food. I signed people, stuff, and books (which are like stuff, but not quite). The room (which you can’t see well in pics) was covered in snow and ice. Even the cake was all snowflakes (and you can’t see it in the pics, but the cake maker, Dahlia, painted little Vlad Marks all around the base – and the big Vlad smiley at the top was covered with actual silver leaf). By the time the cake cutting commenced, I was sooooo tempted to hack and slash it to pieces in a psycho move…but I held back, so everyone could enjoy it.

So after the cake, there was more signing. Here’s a quick peek at PART of the line (which went on forever and never shrank. Seriously. The only time I had away from signing was for filming suff with the videographers. But it was so amazing, I didn’t care.)

And the Minions danced the night away!!

But no worries. It wasn’t ALL signing. Just before midnight, Paul got me on the dance floor.

It was amazing, and I’m so blessed to have spent that evening with so many Minions. THANK YOU!
And if you missed the Snow Ball, but you live in or near Sattle (or are willing to travel), come see me tomorrow night!!! I’ll be at Secret Garden Bookshop at 7pm.
Tomorrow’s the big day, Minion Horde. ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS is about to be unleashed!!!
EDITED TO ADD:
As requested, here’s a pic of my son, Jacob, and the lovely Mina Lovett!

Tags: Snow Ball, Tour Posted in Uncategorized | 136 Comments »
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
Oh, Minions. Minions, Minions, Minions. We have so much to talk about! And so little time to talk and jabber and SQUEE about it all!
First, let me catch you up on the craziness that is my life. I just handed in TWELFTH GRADE KILLS. My editor (new editor, actually) is reading and loving it. AND…I just saw the cover for 12th! So, I’m all happyhappyjoyjoy about that right now. As I type this, I’m sitting here with purple goop in my hair. (After all…re-purplizing is important to the awesomeness that is my hair.) I have a list of fourteen different tasks to take care of today, and tomorrow, I jump on a plane to Michigan, to ready the last minute details of the Snow Ball!!!
Now, if you ARE going to the Snow Ball: bring your fangs, get pumped, and feel free to bring along books for me to autograph. Books will be available for purchase. HOWEVER, ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS will NOT be available to buy that night. You’ll get your copy that’s part of your ticket purchase, but the book isn’t officially being released until February 9th, so it’s a big deal that any early copies are getting out at all. BUT! EIGHTH GRADE BITES, NINTH GRADE SLAYS, and TENTH GRADE BLEEDS will be available for purchase, so bring your cash too, if you’d like to buy copies there. Also…leave a little extra room in your suitcase if you’re flying in from out of state, as there will be many FANGtastic prizes. And if you haven’t done so yet, please read my last blog entry and don’t forget to bring along your signed release form!
If you are NOT going to the Snow Ball: I sincerely hope that I will see you somewhere on my tour (click the Appearances link at the top of the page to see if I’m coming near you!). Please call ahead and ask the stores if it’s okay to bring books from home, but even if they say it is, please pick up a copy from the store itself, as they’re nice enough to bring me out to see all of you – it’s a cool way to say ‘thank you’. Feel free to dress in vampire finery, to don your Vlad smiley proudly, and bring all of your friends!
If you will NOT see me while I’m on tour: Hold a Vlad party! Get friends together, raid the nearest bookstore, snatch up copies of ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS and have a read-in (like a lock-in, but with reading). Make vampire cupcakes, take pics in the cemetery, do something cool…and then tell Auntie Heather all about it.
And if you plan on going to Books & Books in Coral Gables, FL to see me…you’ll want to check this out.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited and nervous and anxious in my life, Minions. I’ve packed/unpacked/repacked three times each, and I’m still not ready. But I am excited that I’ll have the opportunity to see so many of my Minions. I feel like we should have a secret handshake or something!!!
But then…in a way…we do. I can always recognize members of the Minion Horde, and – thanks to the purple hair and plans for world domination – I think you can always recognize me. So…if you see me wandering around any of the towns on my tour, looking a little lost, feel free to stop me and say hi. Because Auntie Heather loves you, Minions!
I fly out on Monday to begin my tour. And I plan to blog about it. With pics. So….see you soon, Minion Horde!
Tags: Snow Ball, Tour Posted in Uncategorized | 76 Comments »
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