I’ve never had an unrealistic view about what an author’s life must be like. I always knew it would require hard work, late nights, and inconvenient travel. I also knew it would mean inspiring someone – even one person – to read (if I’d done my job, that is), and getting to spend my happily introverted days in front of a computer. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it was like to be a successful author.

Now…I think I was kinda wrong. Or at least a lil confused about what it really would mean.

So if you’re considering becoming an author, there are a few things that no one will tell you. That is, except for your Auntie Heather.

1. You will have a zillion deadlines, and they will all come at the SAME TIME.
Seriously. I have two books due on August 1st, and while I trust my publisher completely, the little voice in my head is questioning their sanity. “TWO BOOKS?! BOTH due the SAME DAY?!”, the little voice cries. I generally ignore it, or squash it with a tack hammer. It happens. Terrible, tight, grueling deadlines happen – and you have every right to complain! But not too much. After all, tight deadlines mean you have books contracted, which is a good thing if you want to continue publishing.

2. You will have no friends. At least, not any who you can see/talk to/spend time with. Unless you’re attending the same conventions.
Okay, that might be a bit dramatic, but I honestly cannot figure out how other authors are managing to spend time hanging out and shopping with friends in person, when I can barely find time to return emails to my friends that live in the magic box on my desk (ie, my computer). I’m both jealous and simply amazed.

3. When you go on tour, you’ll travel to incredible cities THAT YOU WILL NOT SEE.
Unless you peer out the window of your escort’s car, you won’t even get a glimpse of some pretty amazing cities, because touring, while awesome, is about reaching fans (in my case, Minions!) and selling books.

4. You will never feel like you know anything about the business….until you do.
And odds are, when you finally realize there’s an aspect of publishing you feel pretty smart about, someone else will feel smarter about it and you’ll feel dumb again. Don’t try to understand publishing…just love it.

5. In the end, the book is all that matters. But you won’t have time to write it.
My schedule is gruelling – on the Appearance page, you guys only see stuff you could attend. I don’t list things like school visits and business or personal travel that doesn’t involve appearances. Heck, in May/June 2010 alone, I’m gone on 4 trips, all within a three week period. The travel is exhausting, but the deadlines loom. And everything must wait for The Book. Family, friends, colleagues, showering – The Book comes first.

6. It’s worth it.
Every moment of stress, every trek through the busy airport, every Skype with family from across the country. It’s all worth it. And like anything else that’s worth it, it’s not easy.

My life isn’t glamorous. But it’s mine. And I wouldn’t trade with anybody else. I guess all I really would like to make it complete would be time….and world domination, of course.