I was reminded of something today, something that I try hard to remember every day, and work very hard never to forget. I was reminded that self-esteem is a very fragile thing. Especially when you’re a teenager.
A Minion had written to me the other day (she knows who she is – but I won’t name names) and told me about an instance of bullying on her Facebook. A bully had insulted her appearance, and she asked my advice before blocking him. He’d called her fat, and it hurt her, so naturally, my protective Auntie Heather feathers got quite ruffled.
You see, I wasn’t always the confident person you see before you, Minions. If we were to rewind time back to my middle and high school years, the person standing before you would probably not be able to make eye contact with you. She’d be relatively quiet, for fear that anything she said would just be mocked. She’d have circles under her eyes from lack of sleep – her eyes red from crying on a daily basis. She would be sad and alone and hated by many of her peers.
I was bullied. Oh yes. Terribly. Physically assaulted, teased, tormented on a daily basis. And due to that, I was driven to a very dark place on more than one occasion. I thought of suicide – I can admit that now. But I can also say that I’m so relieved I didn’t go there. Because no matter how dark life becomes, no matter how lost or alone you feel, no matter how convinced you are that there is no way out of your pain and anguish, I can honestly say that there is a bright spot at the end of that tunnel. Things get better. Bullies go away. You can surround yourself with love and light and awesome people who really get you, who really adore your quirks. But you have to hold on.
I think the reason that the Facebook bully irked me so much (apart from my fierce love of the Minion Horde) is that I was, at one time, overweight, and know how stressful it can be when people wear their insensitivity on their sleeve. Growing up, I was a thin girl. But after years of low self-esteem, I ate my way into a size 24. I’m now a size 4 due to both a healthy approach to weight loss and, largely, due to learning to love myself – all my flaws included. But the stress of that time came flooding back to me the moment that Minion confided in me, and I don’t want her to feel bad just because some jerk on Facebook doesn’t have the sense to leave well enough alone. Yes, people snickered about my weight when I was bigger. Just like the bullies who shoved me into lockers in high school. But I’ve learned, over time, that their opinion of me doesn’t have to be my opinion of me.
My ridiculously tiny pinky toes bend absurdly toward my other toes. I’m incredibly anal about the spines of books lining up just so on a bookcase. I often drift off into my own world during conversations. My desk is always a huge mess (I call it “creative chaos”). I have a really difficult time maintaining friendships with girls. I’m clumsy, can’t sing (but do), and I’m an absurdly careful driver. Sometimes I get sad for no reason and bawl my eyes out. I’m short, my thighs are kinda chunky, and I really, really suck at math.
But I love me.
Because those things make me who I am. Those things are all things that shape the person you know as Auntie Heather. And I wouldn’t want to be anybody else.
You have flaws too, I’m sure. But y’know what? Your flaws, your imperfections, are actually tiny little quirks that make you stand out from the crowd, and that, my Minions, my friends, is something really special, something to be proud of.
Now…who wants a cookie???
Tags: self-esteem
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Hey have u ever herd of Bless The Fall
THanks, I suppose that helps a bit. My aunt just died and I’ve been feeling really bad about some things. I’m in highschool now. I suppose it’s time for me to stop caring about this stuff and grow up. Most people don’t understand though, I don’t want to grow up.
aww…
yeah i like them XD
really b4 or after craig mabbitt went to escape the fate???
before craig left.
I mean craig is a good singer but ronnie really needs to come abck
yes i love ronnie hes in a new band.
u now that???
they wont let ronnie back in dont u know what happened???
yeah he is in falling in reverse
yeah he got in a fight which ended in someone dying and then ronnie got probation and he didnt go to rehab and then max green ratted him out so they kicked him out cause he went to jail and then craig left to come to ETF and ronnie got out in Decemember…
yes finnaly some one that know thanks dude…
I like listen up…
How bout u this girl out
what? o.o”
none of my friends know about that. i have to tell them…
Auntie Heather, you are awesome. Relish in that fact. We love you so much! (And you little flaws, too!
) Please keep writing. The literacy world needs more people like you. Thank you for being you.
To the morons that call me a slut, a freak, a faggot and other very hurtful names:
Just keep your head wear the sun don’t shine!
none of your friends know what?
what went on with ronnie and stuff all my friends that do is because i told them and thay why they like it because of my. Its just nice to hear someone els knows thats all!!!
I miss Ronnie in ETF tho
i do to me and my sis thinx hes so hot
what bout u???? 
i do to me and my sis thinx hes so hot
what bout u???? 
BLEH!
I think Ronnie is like Best Friend cute not hot o.o”
what about andy 6
My friend already called him so cant say he is hot
I have TJ Bell Oliver Sykes Chris Motionless Christofer Drew ingle Davhie Vanity Micheal Vampire Alex Evans Spanky Trace Cyrus Danny Worsnop Se7en Nate Nateplam *Des & Nate* Destery Moore *Des & Nate*
i love olie syks and alex evans christopher drew and destery moore and so many more
Alex is mine!!!!
Haha ok…
what i like him and ronnie. have u see ronnie when he was younger????
Yeah
i like him with longer hair
Do you like Dot Dot Curve
?
yes!!!
heartbraker!!!
Ima sad they broke up tho
yes me 2
wrud?
soooo? whats up
nothing
I want a cookie…..
R.I.P Cassy
Auntie, thank you so much!! When I came to my new school, I could just hear people whispering about me. They’d shove me into my locker, start rumors, etc. I used to have a lot of “friends” who weren’t really friends. They were just using me to get more rumor topics. So now that I have eliminated them, I have quite few friends. But that’s okay because I know they care about me and friends are not measured by number
And anyways, I have to focus on my writing ;D Thank you so much, you really inspire me and make me feel better when I’m really low. Rock on! 
u go alex. did u move to a bg ciyt?
If everyone is done being sad,can we talk about something a little bit happier
Hello, I found your site on search engine Bing. You have a very interesting web site.Bye
like what drone?????
What do you mean do you wanna talk about rainbows Drone? xD
rainbows??? Why???
I like rainbows dont be hatin
i like them to just wanted to know why rainbows???
fine what do YOU wanna talk about?
idk…. Gummy Bearssss…