Yesterday, on Twitter and Facebook, I asked if I should blog about my writing process or about super secret details concerning my new book, SOULBOUND, today. Several people answered for either subject, but I’m in the middle of writing the second book in The Legacy of Tril, so I’m kinda in the mood to divulge secrets. I tried to think of what you’d want to know about it, and I think I have an idea. And don’t worry! I’ll get to writing stuff the next time I blog. But for now, here you go, Minions…ten secrets about The Legacy of Tril: SOULBOUND.
1. How many pages is SOULBOUND? 394. It’s my longest book yet. And yes, I’m planning to keep all three books in The Legacy of Tril trilogy (AHAHAHA – it’s a TRILogy!!) roughly the same length.
2. How many chapters is that? There are 34 chapters.
3. How many words??? You writers! Yeesh! After edits, SOULBOUND came in at around 94,000 words. In comparison, EIGHTH GRADE BITES (my first published novel) was only around 40,000 words.
4. Will this book feature a lot of death and gore? Well, I wouldn’t say a lot, but it has its fair share. It also has giant, blue, scaly monsters WHO EAT PEOPLE. So…yeah. Death and gore kinda go hand in hand with Graplars (the monsters on Tril).
5. Will it feature *cue sighs from half of you and gagging noises from the other half* any romance? Oh yes. Definitely. There’s a strong romantic element to this book, though I wouldn’t call it a romance. It’s an epic fantasy, with romantic elements. But don’t expect our heroine to be one of those girls who swoons at the sight of every cute boy. Kaya’s a tough, sarcastic cookie. Stubborn too. But yes…there are cute boys (way, way cute). And yes, there is romance.
6. Does this mean you’re never writing about vampires/slayers/guys ever again?? DON’T PANIC! I’m serious about that. Don’t go thinking that your Auntie Heather has abandoned her evil ways and changed what she’s writing, simply because she decided to stretch her writing legs a little and try something different. Of course I’ll write stuff for and about guys in the future. But I think, once Joss has had his say in his five-book series, that I may take a break from vampires and slayers. Maybe a long break. I don’t know. I never know what pants I’m putting on in the morning, Minions. You can’t expect me to know how my career will unfold over the next forty years.
7. If you were any character in SOULBOUND, who would you be? It’s funny, but I wouldn’t be Kaya (the main character). Though we have much in common, I’m far more like her guard (and eventual friend), Maddox. Maddox says inappropriate things at inappropriate times, and then can’t seem to get why people don’t see that she’s just trying to help them. I love Maddox. I hope you will too.
8. When will SOULBOUND hit stores, and when is #2 coming out? SOULBOUND will hit stores this July, and the second book in The Legacy of Tril will be released summer 2013. No, I will not tell you the title. Yes, I do know it.
9. When can we read the first chapter of SOULBOUND here on your website??? Soon! I have to go offline for a while (maybe a few weeks), but when I come back, I’ll see about posting that first chapter for you.
10. Awww, come on! Can’t you tell us anything else?! Yes. I can tell you that, as much as I deeply adore Vlad and Joss, I have never enjoyed writing a book as much as I enjoyed writing SOULBOUND. Every round of edits was a pleasure. Every moment spent daydreaming up scenes was a joy. I love this book, these characters, this world…and I hope that you will too.
Ahh…my old nemesis, depression. He and I have a long, sordid, complicated relationship, but I’ll get to that in a moment, Minions. First, I want to tell you why I’m blogging about depression today.
On Facebook, a Minion said this:
hi auntie heather i have a question for you, when you where younger and battling depression how did you overcome it? I’ve been battling depression on and off for years now and it always seems to creep up on me. can you please tell me your awesome super ways of battling depression? thanks.
I’ve been receiving similar emails and messages and tweets for some time, so I thought it might be something we should discuss. But first, what is depression? According to our good buddy Merriam Webster, it’s
(1) : a state of feeling sad : dejection (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies
And the U.S. National Library of Medicine describes depression as something like this:
Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.
True clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for weeks or longer.
But we can all agree that depression – whether major or minor sucks. Big time. And if you think depression is a myth, or something easy to experience, then you can just stop reading right here. Because it’s not. It’s awful. I know first hand, as do many Minions, and it’s time we discuss it. (except, of course, for the aforementioned doubters – you can all go frolic through a field of wildflowers – P.S. watch out for Cecile)
Now, Minions, go back up and reread that Minion’s question. Then I’ll answer it. No worries! I’ll wait. *hold music plays*
Back now? Cool. Because here’s the truth. And the truth, my Minions, my quirky little fans, my omnipotent, tiny lil gods, is something that your Auntie Heather will always give you. Because, while make believe is fun, the truth is important. And speaking the truth is the most important thing.
So…when I was younger and battling depression, how did I overcome it? Good question. It shows this Minion has been paying attention. Maybe they’ve heard me talk about my depression before, or maybe they just realize that most people go through it at one time or another. Regardless, it’s a good question. How did I? Well…the truth is…not very well. Not at first.
See, I had a fairly chaotic childhood. Five house fires. A lot of moving around (mostly due to those fires). Tumultuous family relationships. An intense amount of bullying. I wasn’t happy. And at the same time, I was convinced that I was somehow…wrong…weird, a freak, broken…for feeling the way that I did. I became suicidal, and felt like maybe the world would be a better place without me.
Can you imagine that, Minions? A world without your Auntie Heather? No Minion Horde. No Vlad. No Joss. No books. No jokes about bacon and its involvement in our eventual world domination. Scary, right?
But that’s what depression (my old nemesis) does. He whispers things into your ear – words that fill you will self-doubt; words that inspire loneliness, anger and frustration. He lies to you, Minions. Depression will do anything to get into your head, and it’s not always easy to get him to shut up.
I’m very lucky for two things: 1) That I am stubborn and 2) That I dislike pain. They saved my life. Mostly that first one, I think. Because if I’d taken my own life – if I’d done the most selfish, horrible thing I can imagine and committed suicide, then the bullies would have won. I would have just given in, given up without a fight…and your Auntie, Minions, she’s a fighter. There was no way I was letting my tormentors win.
But it wasn’t ~just~ stubbornness and fear of pain that saved me. It was those things that kept the Dark Place at bay for a while. Until I met other people like me, other freaky weirdos who totally dug my freaky weirdness. I started talking about my feelings, about being depressed, about the Dark Place. And they understood. And slowly, my depression went away.
Sure, he rears his ugly head up now and again. I just recently had a major bout of self doubt (oooh, a rhyme!), but that wasn’t me talking and I know it. It was Depression’s voice, whispering in my ear again. Lying. Again.
And he always will. I just have to see through his lies. Because I’m worth the fight. I’m the supreme ruler of the Minion Horde – the coolest people I know, and I’ll be damned if some stupid little whisper in my ear is going to keep me down.
So how do I face depression now? I named him. His name is “Fuddy”. And whenever he starts whispering, I roll my eyes and say (yes, out loud), “Shut up, Fuddy!” and I instantly feel a bit better. Because I’m stubborn. And I’m not going to let any bully – particularly one who lives inside my skull – win. Ever.
And you shouldn’t either.
For more information on depression, what it is, and how to handle it, please go HERE, and if you’re having suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-SUICIDE right away and speak to someone about those feelings.
Also – and this is important, Minions – please understand that, to some, the only method of dealing with it is medication. And there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.
I don’t think that there’s a person on this planet that doesn’t know what the “<3" (less than three) symbol means. It's a heart. It means love. And it's also just become incredibly important to your Auntie Heather, Minions.
If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may have heard me mention a big secret that I'm working on. Today, after a long time coming, I had my first big meeting about that secret, and it's finally time to clue you all in.
I, along with my amazing committee members (Vicki Erwin, Melissa Posten, Ange Flynn, and Amy Keaveny) are organizing a conference--one with you Minions, with teenagers, with outcasts in mind. It's called the <3 conference - the Less Than Three conference.
Less Than Three will take place in St. Louis, and is the first of its kind, a YA Lit/Anti-Bullying conference that will bring about some of your favorite YA authors, teens, tweens, booksellers, teachers, administrators, parents, librarians, authors and more to rally against bullying. There will also be punch and pie. (Okay, there may be punch and pie.)
The big day is Saturday, October 19, 2013. We have a long time until the conference, but I’m so, so thrilled that our official planning has begun. I hope you all can join us!
This is a difficult blog for me to write, Minions. A very difficult blog, indeed. Because I know what it means to so many of you, and I know that it’s not going to make several of you happy. Which sucks. Because I live to make you guys happy.
We’ve had a pretty amazing time with the forum here on my site, haven’t we? You’ve met and made friends with fellow Minions. We’ve chatted. You’ve shared writing and art with your fellow Minions. It’s been awesome. But the active population has dwindled, due to certain happenings (no pointing fingers here, but we did have two unfortunate unscheduled reboots of accounts), and now…well, I feel like we’ve come to a point where it’s time to step back from things and reevaluate whether or not the forum is worth our collective time, my Minions.
Many of you don’t even use the forum at all, so this news won’t really affect you. But I’ve put a lot of thought into this (over the past year, actually), and I’ve decided that, effective next Friday, January 20th, the forum will no longer exist. I’ve already instructed my web guru that that’s D-Day. If you have any writing or artwork there that you’d like to keep, please, please grab it this week, because I’d hate for you to lose it.
Am I sad about this? A little. But mostly, I feel at peace. There was a time when I was able to be on the forums several times a day. But that time shrank to the point that I was on maybe once every four or five months. You deserve better than that, Minions. You deserve my full attention. And I can give you that here on my blog, on my Twitter feed, my Formspring, and on my Facebook.
So…here’s to change. Here’s to the good times we had. And to the world domination we’ve yet to accomplish.
GOOD LUCK, Minions!
Contest complete! If you drew this mangnificent piece, YOU WON! Drop me an email (heather at heather brewer dot com) with your DeviantArt name and posted username, and I’ll get you an ARC of SOULBOUND! CONGRATS, MINION! That was NOT an easy pick – sooooo many great entries!
If you have no idea to what I’m referring, Minions, there are people who’ve predicted that the world will end at the end of 2012. (Of course, lots of people have predicted when the world will end – it’s apparently supposed to end every moment of every second of every day, because of all sorts of reasons, but I really don’t think any of their predictions have an ounce of truth in them.) But what if it won’t end? What if 2012 signifies the beginning of a new era? One filled with happiness, good will, and of course…zombies?
And bacon, of course. Can’t forget that.
Anyhoo, this post really has nothing at all to do with the end of the world. I was just musing about random things. Which your Auntie Heather tends to do.
This post is actually about How I Spent My Christmas Vacation. First off, it was awesome. The fam (Paul, Jacob, The Girl, and I) hopped on a plane (okay, so we walked – the TSA doesn’t take kindly to hopping onto planes) and headed to Michigan, so we could hang out with our extended family (who are just as awesome as we are – probably more). We hung out, opened pressies, ate more food than was humanly possible, and hugged so much that our eyes almost imploded! It was pretty epic. There was a horse drawn carriage ride, a gorgeous snowstorm, meeting up with a Minion who asked me to sign her book and take a pic with her, and lots of sister time for me and my fabulous sis, Dawn (who you might know from Absolute Forest of Words). All in all, a great holiday break.
Of course, the fun’s not over for Auntie Heather. See, I’m blogging this from 32,000 feet in the air. I’m still on that plane home, and when we get there, Santa will come to our house. SQUEE!!!!!!
So…good times. I just hope that 2012 isn’t the end of the world. Now that would put a damper on next Christmas, for sure.
Man, I don’t know if it’s just me and the fact that I am a total whiner when the weather turns brisk, but it has been COLD lately here in Brewtopian Manor, my Minions. We’re talking don’t-take-too-long-to-blink-or-your-eyes-may-freeze-shut cold. And I didn’t quite realize just how roasty-toasty warm it is inside until I just stepped outside for a moment. HOLY ICICLE NOSE, BATMAN! IT IS FREEZING!!!
But enough about me and my whining. We have Important Things to discuss.
I know a lot of you are gearing up for various end of the year holiday celebrations (and even if you’re not, this still applies to you) – so am I, actually. And my fall-back present, that gift I go to very easily and very quickly whenever I don’t know what to get someone (or just really, really, really think they would love it) is a book…or a pile of books. And shopping for books is fun. I love book stores – particularly cool independent bookstores, with lots of character. My favorite indie bookstore (though I do love them all very much) is Main Street Books in historic St. Charles, Missouri.
There’s just something about that shop. Whenever I walk inside, I feel like I’m at home. And then when I climb the stairs to the cool teen loft, I never want to leave. Not to mention that it’s on this cool historic street, full of really interesting shops, which always seems to have an amazing festival going on. For example, currently (and running through Christmas Eve, I believe) is the Christmas Traditions festival. Visitors can meet a range of Santa Clauses from around the world, listen to carolers, and joke around with Jack Frost. It’s pretty sweet, and I go every year. Normally multiple times. (So if you see me, please say hi – I love meeting my Minions!) It’s a neat place. A neat town. Full of neat people.
Now, you may be asking yourself “Why on Earth would Auntie be telling us all this? Snore!” I do have a purpose. And if you do love supporting small businesses, fulfilling your holiday shopping needs (or just your shopping needs, period), and meeting Auntie Heather, then I have great news for you.
The Independent Bookstore Alliance in Saint Louis has come together to offer shoppers a really cool treat. On certain days, in certain independent bookstores all across the St Louis area, shoppers (in my case, Minions) are going to have the opportunity to not only hang with their favorite author, but also have their favorite author act as their personal bookseller (more info HERE)!
Yep! Auntie Heather will help you shop for books (and all manner of awesomeness that’s at Main Street Books) and maybe..just maybe…she will bring cookies. Because she’s like that.
I’ll be working at Main Street Books on Saturday, December 17th, from 6pm to 8pm. So grab the family, check out the Christmas Traditions festival, eat some kettle corn, drink some hot cocoa, and then, when you’re done shopping all along Main Street, head on over to Main Street Books and shop in the warm, cozy bookstore with your Auntie Heather!
Minions, you have been so infinitely patient. You’ve waited through a title change (BLOODBOUND to SOULBOUND), and have waited sooooo long for Auntie Heather to finish this book, this epic fantasy that’s so different than my Vlad Tod or Slayer stuff. You’ve begged, pleaded for a taste. Just a taste! And today, I can give you just that. I’m going to give you two pressies. And when I’m done, I want to know what you think. I’m thrilled, ecstatic, so, so happy to give you both the cover of SOULBOUND, and the first five paragraphs! Are you ready? Because here…we…GO!!!
CHAPTER ONE
The sharp edge of the paper sliced into my thumb and I sat up with a jerk. “Fak!”
Blood blossomed from the cut and I tossed my book to the ground, shoving my thumb in my mouth and sucking on it to make the bleeding stop. I should have known that I’d give myself a paper cut. I’d just picked up the book from the book binder this morning, so its pages were still crisp, not well worn like those in the books that lined the shelves of my bedroom.
“What would your mother say if she heard you cursing like that, Kaya?” As he ducked under the moss that was draping from the tree branches above and made his way along the water’s edge, my father smiled at me. In his left hand was a net full of freshly caught fish. He held it up proudly. “Dinner. I hope I didn’t scare you.”
Shaking my head at his subtle attempt at humor—he’d always been able to sneak up on me without much effort, ever since I could remember—I brushed the grass from my leggings and stood, clutching the book in my hand. “Scare me? I actually heard you coming. First time for everything, I suppose.”
“I made certain you did. Walk back with me? I want to talk with you about tonight.” He didn’t wait for an answer. I knew he wouldn’t. My father was a take-charge kind of person. Not cruel or demanding, but a natural leader. When he said something, people were meant to listen, and they did, for the most part. Maybe it was because he was a Barron, and people—even the Unskilled people of Kessler who had no idea what Barrons even were—just sensed that they were supposed to follow his lead. My mother was a Barron as well. Sometimes I wished that I was like them, but then I’d push that wish away. After all, there was no sense in wishing for what one could never possibly have. My parents had been born Barrons, and I . . . well . . . I had not.
It’s funny. I can remember being in elementary, and getting the same assignment every year. Describe in a paragraph (or a few paragraphs) what it is that you are thankful for. It was an easy assignment. It was fun, and didn’t exactly require a lot of thought. But as your Auntie gets older, Minions, it’s a question I take a bit more seriously every year. What am I thankful for?
Before I share this year’s answer with you, I want to tell you a story. No, no – put those cocoa mugs down. It’s not a happy story. It’s not a place that you will be comfortable in. You won’t want to spend a lot of time there. I don’t. But I feel the need to get this out, and so I turn to you, my Minions, some of the few people in the world who truly understand me, so that I can get it all out and be done with it and never look back. Are you ready? It’s okay. I’ll hold your hand the whole time. And when we’re done, I’ll tuck you all into your lil coffin beds and give you all lil skull cookies, and after a while, you might not recall our journey at all.
Here we go.
Yesterday began as a really great day. Uncle Paul was off at his college, taking classes. My son, Jacob, and my daughter, Alexandria, were being goofy and awesome. And so I decided it would be the perfect day to do some charity work. Off to Target we went to shop for Toys for Tots! I’d seen the T4T bin at my favorite Starbucks last week, and was really looking forward to filling it. See, your Auntie was very poor growing up, so T4T means a lot to me, and to so many children. It’s important, the hope that each gift represents. So we shopped and shopped and shopped and before we knew it, we had two entire carts overflowing with toys!
Mind you, I’d driven the Camaro to Target. And while my car has an enormous trunk, I hadn’t counted on filling it and then some. So after that, instead of hitting more stores for more gifts, the kids and I decided to swing by my favorite Starbucks, and drop the toys off.
Now…here’s where the situation gets sticky. It’s where you learn that your Auntie Heather did something wrong, and where someone else did something (in my mind, anyway – maybe not) more wrong. In fact, I don’t even like reliving the scenario. But I have to, you see, because it bothers me. To my core, it bothers me.
A quarter of the parking lot had been roped off, so I drove around and around, looking for an empty spot, but there weren’t any. In front of the Starbucks is a curb marked No Parking, but I’d seen several people in years past park their car, go inside for twenty minutes, and come back without any trouble. So…I stopped there, and put my hazards on. Should I have parked there, albeit briefly? No. That was wrong of me. Granted, I just wanted to semi-easily get the ridiculous amount of gifts to the T4T bin. But that’s really no excuse. Just because other people break a rule and get away with it, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to break it yourself.
I began opening my drivers’ side door – it was open maybe four inches – when I heard a man SCREAMING, “SIR! SIR! YOU CAN’T PARK THERE!” I had no idea who he was, and I wasn’t a sir, so I ignored him. Then I heard footsteps, and glanced to see a security guard sprinting to my car from four lanes over. He was tall, bulky, and glaring so hard that his eyes might have been made of lava at that moment, or maybe shooting lasers (this is the way he appears in my memory, anyway). He runs up to me, big and scary and broad, and huffs in a voice that makes me feel like I look just like a person who once kicked his puppy when he was five, “What part of YOU CAN’T PARK HERE do you NOT understand?”
This is where Auntie Heather takes a breath. In that moment, where I take a breath, I recognize that the holidays are a very unhappy time for people, that virtually no one respects these guards, and that he’s probably having a really bad day, and maybe feels just a little stupid for having referred to me as “sir” (which also begs the question…can only boys own Camaros? Why did he assume I was a sir? I mean, he called me that before he could even see me…my windows are tinted. Huh…). After I release my breath, and open my trunk to get the toys out, I calmly, say, “I’m sorry, sir. There was no parking and I just wanted to get these to Toys for Tots.”
But as I’m saying the words “Toys for Tots”, he SCREAMS at me, “YOU CANNOT PARK HERE!” He then puffs up his already large frame, and gets unnervingly close to me, kinda lording over me in the way that people do when they’re trying to physically intimidate someone – especially someone smaller than them (much smaller, in fact). I say, “Okay, I’m going.” because I want to remove myself from the situation. That’s very important, Minions. If someone is on the verge of getting physical with you (and I do believe if I had been a “sir”, he would have put his hands on me – you could feel it in the air, like an electric charge), GET AWAY FROM THEM.
At this point, Jacob has already taken half the bags into Starbucks. I sit the rest on the sidewalk there, go to close my trunk, and he moves in, shouting, “NOW, or I’ll put a sticker on your car!”
In my mind, I’m thinking, “A sticker? Really? Like a tow sticker that I will simply remove after returning home? Wow. You have immense power, sir. Good for you.” but I say nothing. I simply move past him and head for my drivers’ side door. He follows me – too closely and huffing and puffing angry air out of his nose – and as I open my door, he reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a sticker. I get in my car, so angry I can barely see straight, and do up my seat belt, turn off my hazards, and pull away slowly.
The bags, full of new toys, are on the sidewalk. Alone. So I drive slllloooowllly back and forth, waiting for Jacob to come get them. He does, and we leave. But not before I blew a kiss at the security guard. I should have wished him a happy Thanksgiving. He probably needed to hear it.
But the point is, Minions, I am 38 years old, and I was bullied by a complete stranger yesterday. There was no reason to treat me that way. Yes, I shouldn’t have parked there. But he didn’t even ask if my car was having troubles, or if there was a medical emergency of some kind. He simply shouted and huffed and invaded my personal space. All because…what? I drive a nice car? I have weird hair? I…shower…?
I was furious the whole way home, because all I could think about was the fact that I am 38, and someone bullied me…and you Minions are (for the most part) younger, much younger. If someone can bully me…what are they doing to you? And it made me mad. And it made me upset. And it broke my heart, because all I want to do is to protect you from that kind of nonsense.
Then I went home and cried. Like that deep, soul-wrenching kinda cry. Because it bothered me so badly. It put me back in elementary, back in middle school, back in high school, back in a certain romantic relationship I had with a bully. And it hurt me to my core.
Yes, I did the wrong thing by parking there. But I did the right thing by walking away.
And as I sobbed and vented at home, Jacob and Alex both uttered protective words and hugged me, and I knew then what I was thankful for this year.
I’m thankful for my family. And I’m thankful for my Minions. Because we all seem to be the only people who know right from wrong, who know that making someone cry because you’re unhappy is an awful thing to do. So thank you, Minions. For being you. You’re always in my thoughts. Always.
Happy Turkey Day, Minion Horde. What are you thankful for?
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