What will happen to Auntie Heather if she doesn't meet her deadline?

  • The world as we know it will cease to exist (47%, 89 Votes)
  • Three words: sharks with lasers (pew-pew!) (28%, 53 Votes)
  • Her computer will turn into a Decepticon and crush her (13%, 24 Votes)
  • None of the above (12%, 22 Votes)

Total Voters: 188

Start Date: November 19, 2009 @ 3:05 pm
End Date: No Expiry

What would you rather win?

  • A Vlad hoodie, like on the cover of EIGHTH GRADE BITES. (54%, 266 Votes)
  • An advanced copy of ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS. (43%, 209 Votes)
  • A porcupine. A dead porcupine. That smells vaguely like Cheez-Its. (3%, 15 Votes)

Total Voters: 490

Start Date: November 10, 2009 @ 12:17 pm
End Date: No Expiry

If your eyes flashed weird colors, what color would they flash?

  • Purple, just like Vlad's! (49%, 214 Votes)
  • Blue. But not a normal blue. A magically delicious blue! (22%, 96 Votes)
  • Red. Cuz it's awesome, that's why. (20%, 88 Votes)
  • Orange...like fire... (9%, 35 Votes)

Total Voters: 433

Start Date: November 1, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
End Date: No Expiry

If you were Vlad, you'd totally...

  • ...continue to subsist on blood bags and junk food. (65%, 516 Votes)
  • ...bite people and feed from the source (stupid humans)! (30%, 236 Votes)
  • ...adapt to a non-blood diet (poor humans)! (5%, 37 Votes)

Total Voters: 789

Start Date: October 19, 2009 @ 5:58 pm
End Date: No Expiry

If you won an advanced copy of ELEVENTH GRADE BURNS, you'd...

  • ...read it and then slink away to my Minion Cave, content to keep the secrets that await Minionkind... (62%, 466 Votes)
  • ...read every page and then scream the details from the closest mountain top - this is just too juicy not to share and Minions deserve to know! (36%, 268 Votes)
  • ...set it on fire. (2%, 16 Votes)

Total Voters: 750

Start Date: October 6, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
End Date: No Expiry

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